Tuesday, January 16, 2007

“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.” ~ Edgar Allan Poe

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Words are a marvelous thing. They can invoke more emotions in us than I could possibly name - anger, amusement, fear, regret, love, disgust, boredom, inspiration, sadness ... the list goes on and on.

I have no idea who the first man was that stood up straight and uttered an intelligent word; what the name was of the first guy who could tell someone what those drawings all over the wall of the cave meant other than that the cave-wife was going to spend the next day scrubbing down the entire cave before company came over for roast pterodactyl.


But since the first man uttered the first word we haven't stopped speaking or improving our language. Well ... most of the time that's the case. Sometimes we, instead. like to mutilate our words or - maybe a better way to put it is - we like to rearrange our words to make them more understandable or meaningful.

As a prime example to that, I now share with you the following that was sent to me via email from a friend. I found it pretty humorous and will probably add a few of these words to my constantly expanding vocabulary. After all, I've already found use for the 2006 Word of the Year "Pluto" so these should be easy!


The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an assh@le.
I truly do love a good play on words! Any one have any favorites they'd like to share??

4 comments:

  1. That was funny. Thank you for the laugh.

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  2. great...now I'll be up all night trying to think of one!

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  3. I also enjoyed reading and laughing.

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  4. Oh a great post, i think i will try and think of one!
    Clairex

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