Monday, February 19, 2007

Here We Go Again ...

As some of you who have been reading this blog for some time now might recall, I was none too happy about my youngest daughter Jamie not being able to come home to Connecticut for Christmas. This made the holidays less than joyous and I was quite happy to put them behind me while I looked forward to Jamie being able to come home for a longer period of time during the summer. In order to ensure this happening, I fully intended on buying a plane ticket early when prices were low and I wouldn't have to sell an arm, leg, and various other body parts to medical science in order to afford it. Good plan, right?

Yes, yes it was - until the ex-husband once again managed to throw a monkey wrench directly into said plan. Not that this surprised me, mind you! Oh no - if there's anything my ex is good at it's still making a hash out of my life despite the fact that we'll have been divorced five glorious years this coming March (ah, but who's counting??). Matter of fact, I rather suspected that something would happen as invariably it always does and I was not disappointed.

Soon I am no longer going to be able to make reference to the State of Kentucky when it comes to the ex as he has decided to transfer to a different job within the company he works for in Florida. Florida?? When he told me of this my first question was, "but I thought you had to stay in Kentucky because that's where the new wife's ex lives and she can't move her kids without his permission which he doesn't want to give" - or something to that affect! Apparently I haven't been paying close enough attention to the passage of time as her oldest son is going to be 18 and on his own soon and her youngest moved in with his dear old dad over a year ago so she no longer has the same restrictions and is now free to move about the country.

Well isn't that special? "So why not come back East?", I queried. Not that I really want the man back in the vicinity but it would be fantastic to have Jamie living close by and maybe, just maybe, the man might think about starting up a relationship with his oldest daughter again if he lived in the same State or close to it. "Well," says he, "that's always a consideration but we have decided to move to Florida to be closer to the wife's aging parents." Oh really now? Those would be the rather wealthy, aging parents, right? Cue not-so-new-anymore wife in the background stating "They aren't really that old!" but apparently they're old enough to warrant more consideration than his daughters. Again, why am I not surprised?

So ... rather than living 900 miles away in a place that she has come to know as home, Jamie is now going to be moving almost 1,200 miles away to the Tampa/St Petersburg area of Florida. Florida. I suppose it does give Amanda and I a more viable vacation option should we choose to go visit than Kentucky did but still ... Florida. Rather than being closer, my youngest will be even farther away.

And this is where the monkey wrench comes in ... the ex has no idea when Jamie will be moving to the Sunshine State. He, himself, will be moving down the 1st of March to begin his new job and will be living with his in-laws (oh lucky them!) while Jamie stays in Kentucky with her step-mom and soon-to-be-18-years-old stepbrother waiting for the house to sell. The house could sell quickly, the house could be on the market for months - it's a crap shoot at this point in time - and that means that I have no idea whether I should buy a plane ticket from Louisville to Connecticut for June or from Tampa/St Pete.

Every time I talk to Jamie on the phone, she talks about the plans she has for our summer together and even at the age of 13, she knows that it's cheaper to buy a plane ticket ahead of time and has dropped hints regarding that. But as of right now, I don't know where she'll be living when summer rolls around. Her hope is to stay where she is until she can graduate from 8th grade but I get the sneaky feeling that her dad and the love of his life are not going to like living apart for very long and it won't matter how much it disrupts Jamie's life if they move before she can graduate. Not to point too fine a point on it but my ex has always had problems putting anyone but himself first and I don't see that happening with this either. Even if the house doesn't sell, I foresee an early move to Florida. But I could be wrong. History could be rewritten and a leopard just might change his spots but were I a gambling woman I wouldn't bet on it!

In the meantime, I wait and play a guessing game while I keep my fingers crossed that airline costs don't skyrocket too high like they inevitably do and I won't be able to fly Jamie out. 0h, and just to add a little more icing to the cake, he called the other night and told me that he hoped I was making plans for paying for Jamie's ticket as he wouldn't be contributing anything to it and she would be very disappointed if she couldn't come out. Very disappointed.

Does anyone remember that old AT&T ad campaign from back in the 80's with the slogan "reach out and touch someone"? Well, trust me, I really wanted to reach out and touch someone that night but I remained quite civil while squeezing the phone so tightly I thought it would have indents and clenching my jaw. The man is impossible.

Sigh ... can anyone tell me why life has to be so difficult sometimes?


  1. That is so crap!!!!!!!!!!
    I couldn't think of a more eloquent way of putting it.
    Shall i go with 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger'?
    Nope the situation is still crap!
    I am sorry that this major spanner has been thrown into your works and fingers crossed for a happy solution!

  2. What a pain in the ass he is. Got one of those damn X's myself. They are just plain stupid. Then I say to myself... and what was the reason I hooked up with this guy. and then I am thankful for my kids. That's it. Gosh I would .... well I can't think of a good word of how I would be feeling now, except I am very truly sorry you are having to deal with this. wishing you better Good days ahead.

  3. I hope you find a good solution, remember, "Life is like a Box of Chocolates."

  4. Linda,

    Sorry to hear about your latest quandry. Seems like every time you write about "Mr. Charming", he gets more and more selfish. Honestly, what makes a person this way?? Did he knock his head against something, loosening the "compassion chip" in his brain? Jeeessshhh!!

    Well, you know me, and how I operate...if you need help - I have my ways...bwahahaha!

  5. Nothing is ever easy, is it, Linda?

  6. Ahhhhhh... aren't ex's just wonderful??? Mine seems to have the same problem... you know... the monkey wrench thing....

    Oh by the way, I know a friend who has a friend who has a friend that just loves to reach out and touch someone... ya want his number??? LOL just kidding...

  7. Oooh, wish there was an easy way outta this one. At least we all lived in the same town - still do. It made it a heck of a lot easier but she was a demanding broad if ever there was one. Because my husband died and he and his dad owned a company, she figured there might be insurance money. When we purchased a van to make it easier to carry around six kids, she sued him for more support; when we bought another house, she sued for more support. It got to the point that we knew if we bought anything we could figure she'd sue to raise child support (which was NEVER late and was over and above that which the court ordered in the first place!!!).
    I don't know how, but we kept our mouths shut, she went on to marry 3 more times an co-hab a number of times and you know what? The kids figured it out.
    We were civil and still are, at weddings, birthdays and sports. But I'd love to kick her in the butt...

  8. Once again Dufus lives up to his nickname, or should I say conceited egotisical jackass that he is!May lord does he even call Amanda? I know he got her zip for Christmas and he really is a $%^&*($# !@@%&*$!! I edited it, but you get my drift!

  9. That really is a bummer. Hopefully they'll figure something out soon and you can get that ticket secured. It's just crazy! If you got it now for where she is would they be able to transfer it if you HAD to?

    By the way...thanks for the sweet comments. You're too kind.

  10. What a jackass. I'm sorry to hear this and know that both you and your daughter have to suffer for it.

    MENtal illness
    MENstrual cramps
    MENtal breakdown

    Coincidence? I don't think so.

  11. Oh no, Linda!!!! Apparently he DOES put himself first because he sure as heck isn't think about either of his daughters!!!


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