Friday, March 16, 2007

The ABC's of Aging

To those who have stopped by and said "hey! there's nothing new here!", I apologize for not having posted anything recently. Things have been a little crazy the past couple of days between the 16-hour shift that I worked on Wednesday to the 2-day class that turned into a 1-day marathon yesterday.

Another dispatcher and I were attending a work-related class in Meriden (about 50 miles from here) that was supposed to be both Thursday and Friday but because of the impending snow storm that now rages on outside, it was decided to do the entire class in one day so that we wouldn't have to drive in the snow. We began at 8:00 in the morning and finished up a little after 10:00 p.m. followed by a long trek back in weather that had become a rain/snow mix. I got home just before 12:00 so that didn't really leave me time to post anything before I literally passed out!

Today I'm relaxing a bit and trying to get caught up on the blogs that I like to read that I haven't had a chance to get to since Tuesday. However, I need to post something new here so that you're not all coming back to the same old stuff! To that end, I give you a new version of the alphabet that a friend of mine in North Carolina sent to me via email. It won't apply to some of you for a few years yet but for me - yep, this sadly sounds more than about right!

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float.
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead...

Now, A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac.
D is for dental decay and decline;
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure - I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend.
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears.
T for tinnitus; there's bells in my ears.
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year that I've left behind,
Z is for zest that I still have - in my mind!

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!!
May your troubles be less, your blessings be more
And nothing but Happiness come through your door!!


  1. I think I've gone right through this new alphabet!

  2. I love it! I'll have to share this with my mom.

  3. Amuzing version of the alphabet. :)

    Hope all is well with you. I'll visit again for your photo hunt.

    Happy weekend!

  4. Holy Crap i have quite a few on this list!

  5. Oh Linda, this is too funny!!! And too danged true. Scary funny...
    (Thanks for the link - I'm linking you, too. ;^) )

  6. now that was cute,
    I must admit,
    the alphabet
    has turned just a bit,
    Now most of those I see
    I experience now,
    so I'll just sit here instead of taking a bow.

    yeah, that's the best I could do on such a short notice.

  7. Nice blog, Linda. This is the first time the alphabet ever seemed so scarey! Hopefully you have better health than this for real!

    Sgt. Dub; you did nicely on your "improv" (up above). Another reason to respect our troops - quick thinking, sharp wit!

  8. Gee.. that sounds an awful lot like meeeee!!! Happy St. Pat's Day :)


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