Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Merci beaucoups - Danke schön - Domo arigato - Dziekuje bardzo - Grazie - in all languages ...

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Thank you all so very much for your words of support, of empathy, of understanding that you left via comment or email on yesterday's post. I was feeling overwhelmed about life in general (finances in particular) when I wrote that post but now I am just totally overwhelmed on a different level.

I am overwhelmed - no ... make that blown away - by what wonderful people you all are for taking the time to leave me words of hope and encouragement on a post that I felt was whiny at best and written when I was in a less than stellar mood. I know that I am by no means the only single parent in the world struggling to get by in life but sometimes it gets to the point where I am just so bogged down with my own problems, that I fail to see that there are people in worse straits than I am. I think someone once said that no one's problem is bigger than your own and I guess that's where I was last night.

As my friend Paula so succinctly pointed out in an email, I get this way right about the time I have to start thinking about sending Jamie back to her father and she's absolutely right. Jamie will be getting on a plane in just a little over a week and my frustration is getting the best of me. This post here from last July pretty much sums up the way I am feeling again this July. Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

At least I'm intelligent enough to know what's bothering me and didn't need to go find a therapist that I can ill afford to tell me what's wrong but in the meantime, I just ask that you please bear with me if I get a little morose or melancholy or just plain ole' weepy during the next week. There are some things that neither a mother or father should ever have to go through and for me, this is one of them.

I don't regret my divorce, I don't regret allowing my ex-husband to have custody because I didn't want a major court battle, and I certainly don't regret him finding love and remarrying but I do regret the fact that he couldn't find a way to have his new love and live close enough to where both girls could have both parents in their lives. No one wins in this situation and I don't care how adult about it I've been or will continue to be. It stinks. It stinks on ice.

In the meantime, though, I want to say thank you again for being there and for giving me a reason to smile at a time when I'm finding that a little difficult.

You guys are the best! ♥ ♥ ♥

13 comments:

  1. I'm glad you appreciate the support, Linda. The words written were not hollow by any means! I am sorry that you have to say good-bye to Jamie soon (I wouldn't wish that on ANYBODY-no matter how awful they may be!) If you need someone to talk to outside of cyberspace, you know "Mrs. Bulldog" & I are here for you - along with lots of folks here @ work.

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  2. You are so strong, whether you know it or not. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to say goodbye to my children for a while.

    Thinking about you.

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  3. I'm just gonna echo "Bulldog's" comments here this morning. You ever feel the need to talk, just drop me a note, kiddo! It won't cure the problem, but kind of does help to ease things in one's mind to be able to talk to someone else who's had (or having) similar problems along life's way. At least, those folks know exactly what it feels like, deep inside, the anger, fear, sadness, etc. That's not to say others can't empathize too, just that it's often more comfortable to talk to those who've been there, done that. sometimes. Hang tough - it'll get better but sometimes, things get worse first and THEN, get better for a while anyway.

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  4. You are a wonderful, caring mom and saying "goodbye" to a child must be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. Your melancholy is understood and we will be there for you as long as you need us to be.

    I have left you a little award on my blog. I hope it cheers you up even just a wee bit!

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  5. Well Linda, there are just a bunch of us out here that love you. It's just that simple. Over time we have all become close and when one hurts we all hurt. I do understand about wanting to have the girls closer all the time and you are right, IT STINKS ON ICE! Big hug to you... :)

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  6. Sending out Hugs.
    Sorry I was AWOL yesterday - so busy in the store - and had to help Bessie with an online job application.
    But know that I love you and think of you every day.
    cheers,
    mo

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  7. You've always got my support, Linda. I had to go out yesterday and didn't catch your post, but have just read it.

    You are a strong person, with so many friends here who will support you.

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  8. Linda,

    I remember last year's post and I remember working with you the day you brought Jamie to the airport. I don't know how you do it. I couldn't. The law would be hunting me down because there is no way in hell I would be putting one of my kids on a plane to go halfway across the country and not see them until God knows when.

    I know you complain about having both of the girls in the house, but I also know that deep down you would keep Jamie in a heartbeat.

    If you need anything in the next week, let me know....

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  9. Who needs expensive therapy when you can blog for free.
    Best wishes

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  10. Keep your chin up!

    You'll be in my prayers

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  11. You were not whiny at all...if you are focused on something, it must be important to you. Focusing on anything strongly means that it matters, that you have not given up...

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  12. ((((((Linda))))))

    I just read the post in question and I will comment here. I am so sorry you have to go through any of this. You are such an amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman. There are many unfair things that happen to really good people.

    I wanted you to know I send love. I understand in a round-about way. My brother and his wife got divorced and the wife pulled a lot of really ugly stuff and thus, none of us have seen my nephew for years. Hurts all of us big-time but I can't imagine how my brother deals with it. I just want you to know I think you are strong and courageous.

    Much love,

    P

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  13. Polli is right. You are a strong woman. I can't imagine anything worse than watching my child go live somewhere else. We are praying for your strength this week.

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