********************Thank you all so very much for your words of support, of empathy, of understanding that you left via comment or email on yesterday's post. I was feeling overwhelmed about life in general (finances in particular) when I wrote that post but now I am just totally overwhelmed on a different level.
I am overwhelmed - no ... make that blown away - by what wonderful people you all are for taking the time to leave me words of hope and encouragement on a post that I felt was whiny at best and written when I was in a less than stellar mood. I know that I am by no means the only single parent in the world struggling to get by in life but sometimes it gets to the point where I am just so bogged down with my own problems, that I fail to see that there are people in worse straits than I am. I think someone once said that no one's problem is bigger than your own and I guess that's where I was last night.
As my friend Paula so succinctly pointed out in an email, I get this way right about the time I have to start thinking about sending Jamie back to her father and she's absolutely right. Jamie will be getting on a plane in just a little over a week and my frustration is getting the best of me. This post here from last July pretty much sums up the way I am feeling again this July. Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same.
At least I'm intelligent enough to know what's bothering me and didn't need to go find a therapist that I can ill afford to tell me what's wrong but in the meantime, I just ask that you please bear with me if I get a little morose or melancholy or just plain ole' weepy during the next week. There are some things that neither a mother or father should ever have to go through and for me, this is one of them.
I don't regret my divorce, I don't regret allowing my ex-husband to have custody because I didn't want a major court battle, and I certainly don't regret him finding love and remarrying but I do regret the fact that he couldn't find a way to have his new love and live close enough to where both girls could have both parents in their lives. No one wins in this situation and I don't care how adult about it I've been or will continue to be. It stinks. It stinks on ice.
In the meantime, though, I want to say thank you again for being there and for giving me a reason to smile at a time when I'm finding that a little difficult.
You guys are the best! ♥ ♥ ♥