Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth!

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As I've said in the past, every once in awhile I'll get a good joke my email box that just can't be ignored and needs to be shared with the masses! To that end, I present for you an email funny that I got from a friend that I thought you might enjoy with no offense to anyone in the Southern States who either is a lawyer, a judge, or a grandmother! Come to think of it, this reminds me a bit of the time that I spent while stationed at Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi so many long years ago. I think I remember seeing little old ladies who had to be as feisty as this one!
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

3 comments:

  1. BWAHAHAHAHBWAHAHAHBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    me thinks me needs to be stealin thisun!

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  2. Yep, that's one sharp grandma. She just tells it like it is. Excellent. Have a great day Linda. :)

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  3. laughing...laughing....laughing...

    thanks!

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