*************************Okay, folks, I'm going to toss this out and see what you think ... and be honest with me, I'm a big girl and I can take it!
While visiting my mother yesterday after my doctor's appointment, she made mention of the fact that one of my cousins said that I was reliving my teenage years through Amanda (I guess that would be that whole 'living one's life vicariously through someone else' thing) because of the concerts that we go to, etc. Least ways, I think that's what she might have meant.
Being the over-thinker that I am, when my mother tells me this sort of thing I have to analyze it from every possible angle to see if there's any truth to it. Which, of course, is what I've been doing! So - let's see ... I have taken Amanda to three concerts this year - a My Chemical Romance concert, the Projekt Revolution Tour, and most recently to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra (of which I might add there were probably more people my age than Amanda's at); I have learned how to play Guitar Hero II; and dressed up like an Emo kid for Halloween; I have taken Amanda shopping at Hot Topic on several occasions; and I'll even admit to listening to some of the bands that she likes including HIM, Panic at the Disco, AFI, The Used, and sometimes - when I'm feeling really adventurous - Mindless Self Indulgence.
I have not dyed my hair some strange off-the-wall color like Amanda has on more than one occasion and neither do I wear black eyeliner or eye shadow that makes me look like a zombie. I don't write on myself with Sharpie pen nor do I wear band shirts on a constant basis. Sure, I do on occasion but I've always done that and seriously, who hasn't? Yes, I send text messages to friends, I have a MySpace page and a Facebook page, and I've had a Monster drink a time or two but am I reliving my teenage years through my daughter by doing those things?
I don't know, I thought I was taking an active interest in my daughter's life but maybe to some people it would seem that I am trying to relive or, better yet, rewrite my own teenage years. Maybe I'm trying to do all the things I didn't do when I was a teenager by doing them through, or with, Amanda but I just never saw it that way. Maybe I just haven't been seeing it right.