Tuesday, April 29, 2008

An Attack of Nerves

I am a bit of a nervous wreck right at the moment.

I'm not sure if it's because I haven't flown in close to six years and I have to get on a plane Thursday morning or if it's because I have to drive down to Philadelphia the night before I do it and there's all that New York traffic to deal with or if it's because it's time to go to bed and I have to work tomorrow before we leave and I'm still not done packing! Maybe it's a combination of all that? Maybe it's really that I'm not nervous so much as that I'm anxious? Maybe I'm just suffering from major league disorganization and disbelief that I'm actually flying back out to California? Hmm, I bet that's probably what it is!

The last time I left California in September of 2002 it was via Amtrak rather than a plane and, as the train pulled out of the station in Sacramento, I decided that I would most likely never return. I'd had my heart broken way too many times in the San Joaquin Valley (starting with the announcement by my first husband in 1981 that there were "too many single women available" for him to be a husband and father) and as much as I love Cyndi and Grandma Edith, it seemed like it was just too painful for me to ever be in Stockton again. Of course, as they say, time heals all wounds (or is that wounds all heels? I wonder how my first ex is doing?) and I've had close to six years to fall back, regroup, and rethink that decision.

Despite the memories of love gone wrong in Stockton, I lived there for quite some time and have many other happier memories that shouldn't be shut away behind a closed door that could never be opened again. Besides, I have the best friend in the world who has put up with my nonsense for over twenty years living there and a grandmother who loves me and still calls me her granddaughter long after the marriage to her grandson ended. If those aren't reasons enough to put the past behind me and get on a plane, then I don't know what are.

Add on the fact that this trip gives me the chance to meet some new friends that I have made through blogging and there is no reason at all for me to be nervous about getting on that plane Thursday morning no matter the fact that there are butterflies doing figure-eights in my stomach right now!

Of course, maybe the biggest problem here is that I haven't had a vacation in years and I've forgotten how to take one? I can tell you that I've sure forgotten how to pack for one (I'm afraid that either Amanda or I will forget our ipods or worse!) so I guess I'd best go finish that now and quit with the procrastinating. Talk to you later - from the West Coast!


  1. Too many single girls for him to be a father and married? Wasn't it a bit late for that? Just saying. Don't fret, things will be fine. Looking forward to your visit. Have a safe trip. :)

  2. Sending a hug and a prayer. You'll be fine. Think of those lovely clouds you're going to see and all the laughs you'll have with Sandee and the others. Did I mention I'm totally jealous of this trip?!!

    We want pictures.
    We want the dirt.
    Just sayin....

  3. You'll be fine, Linda. Go ahead and enjoy that vacation.

  4. Anonymous1:45 AM EDT

    Have a brilliant time hon...

  5. yeah...flying ain't as fun as it use to be, and you got a LOT to do first!

    but...hey...just throw everything into a suitcase and get your ass out here!!!

    here's to (picture me raising a margarita) making great new memories in Stockton.


  6. What our Queen said, Linda. ;-)

    Don't stress, you'll be among friends.
    You'll have a wonderful trip. I know it.
    Take lots of cloud photos for us to enjoy. Us bloggers seem to like clouds.

    Sending you a bon voyage hug,


  7. you are braver than me honey but i know you can do it (the driving i mean)...

    smiles, bee

  8. Oh Linda, you will have a great time! Don't you worry, about a thing... Just enjoy your time off.

  9. You're flying out of Philly? You have my sympathy.

    I'm sure the rest of the trip will go wonderfully. You'll be surrounded by good people, and good food-shouldn't be too hard to "forget" the bad stuff.

  10. Have a super trip there, Linda!!!

  11. Oh dear. I think you need to start with the small stuff, like making a list.

    I understand the nerves though. It can be tough to return to a place when the most recent memories of it are bad ones. But as you say, you do have good memories too. So try to focus on those, and relax about the packing!

    Have fun!

  12. Anonymous10:58 PM EDT

    Feeling anxious before a trip is common. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Try to think of the fun you'll have when you're there. Try to keep that mental picture going. And have FUN! I mean it :)

  13. Are you packed yet?
    Just checking......Aren't you excited??

  14. You're gonna have such a good time! Forget the past, enjoy the now. x

  15. Anonymous4:02 PM EDT

    Bless your heart! I hope you have a wonderful vacation and a safe trip!

  16. Anonymous6:00 PM EDT

    Have a marvelous time!!!!


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