Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Things My Mother Taught Me

I got this in an email today from my friend Andrew and it was just too good not to share! My mother taught all of these things to me and now, as a mother myself, I am teaching these same lessons to my children who I am sure will then pass them on to their own children.

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

My mother taught me RELIGION -
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

My mother taught me LOGIC -
'Because I said so, that's why.'

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC -
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

My mother taught me IRONY -
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

My mother taught me about FLEXIBILITY -
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

My mother taught me about STAMINA -
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

My mother taught me about WEATHER -
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE -
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
'Stop acting like your father!'

My mother taught me about ENVY -
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -
'Just wait until we get home.'

My mother taught me about RECEIVING -
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE -
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

My mother taught me ESP -
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

My mother taught me HUMOR -
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT -
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

My mother taught me GENETICS -
'You're just like your father.'

My mother taught me about my ROOTS -
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

My mother taught me WISDOM -
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE -
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'

15 comments:

  1. Oh these are so very, very true. I enjoyed the read Linda. Nice reminders of they way things used to be and the way things will be. Seven days and counting... Have a great evening. :)

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  2. I love this, Linda...it's SO TRUE! :)

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  3. Oh yeah....those are good. So true! So true!

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  4. I read this a long time ago and it's one of the best takes on motherhood!
    My mom used to give me and my brother the "evil eye." We both swore we'd never do it to our kids. HA, HA, HA!
    We both put the fear of God into our kids just like she did to us...
    You never fall too far away from the tree, I guess.
    ~~~Blessings~~~

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  5. I laughed out loud at the lawnmower/running feet. My mother used to actually say some of these things to me. Now that's scary....

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  6. that is so funny and how true..I hear my mother come out of my mouth and I'm astonished..but then I look in the mirror and I look more and more like her each day..
    and she died at seventy...I look like her just before she died...geesh

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  7. your mother was/is a wise woman

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  8. Growing up all the way across the ocean, but recalling almost all of them... *sigh* Are all mothers the same ? :o)

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  9. I remember my Mum saying most of those!

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  10. I did hear these earlier. They are so true.

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  11. The truest one of 'em all is the very last one because it works, it really works! My kids refer to it as "Mom's Curse." I always told my kids I couldn't wait till they got married and had kids of their own because I was gonna teach 'em every dirty word I know and every rotten trick that their sweet parent had ever played on me. Then, once I figured they had all that down pat, I would send said child back to the parent! (Little did I know that two of these grandkids would be living with ME though.) But the neat thing is, I never had to teach 'em any of that stuff -they all just seemed to learn the prank stuff on their own! Imagine that. But I still love watching my girls squirm as one of the kids does or says something that gives me a bit of a deja vue moment -often makes me laugh out loud too. To which the daughter will say "Shut up, MOM!" Love it, just love it!

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  12. Seen this before and it always reminds me of the song "The Other Generation" from Flower Drum Song

    A very discouraging problem is
    The Other Generation.
    And soon there'll be another one as well!
    And when our out of hand sons
    Are bringing up our grandsons,
    I hope our grandsons give their fathers hell!
    --Can't wait to see it!--
    I hope our grandsons give their fathers hell!

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  13. LOL, Linda, I've read that before, but it's always funny every time I read it.

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  14. Oh man. I used to think these were so dated and silly, now I catch myself saying all of them. Yikes!

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  15. These are all so true! The one about crossing your eyes I heard a million times. Haha

    Thanks for the list, oh Duchess. It made me chuckle. I've said a few of these myself, I must admit.

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