Monday, May 3, 2010

Take This Tune - The Things We Do For Love

I think I inadvertently ended up turning a favorite song of mine by the British group 10cc into this week's prompt for Take This Tune after Jamie had left a comment on my post about taking Amanda down to New York City last Saturday so that she could meet a favorite artist and spending 5-1/2 hours waiting for that to happen.   Jamie had said that I was a good mom and I guess I responded back that it sort of fell under the category of "the things we do for love" rather like in the song - though truth be told, the song is about romantic love and not parental love but when it comes down to love it seems like sometimes we all end up doing things that we might not do otherwise. 

I've heard from my mom on more than one occasion that Amanda is spoiled and it's not really something that I can argue about as yes, she is spoiled (though like all spoiled kids, she really doesn't think she is).  I guess I'm not really very good at saying no when there's something that Amanda really wants to do but I'd like to think that it's more an act of love than just giving into her wants. 

I can see where taking her to concerts or driving down to Baltimore a couple of times to meet a favorite illustrator and attend the funeral of a really, really dead author or hanging out with zombies in New Jersey or waiting around for 5-1/2 hours for her to meet another favorite illustrator or driving up to Massachusetts so that she can hang out with her brain-twin Sami or a myriad of other things might be considered spoiling her but that isn't what I've been trying to do. 

I guess it could be thought that what I'm trying to do is make up for the fact that her father hasn't really paid any attention to her at all over the years or that I'm trying to relive my teenage years through hers but I don't think I'm doing either of those things either.  I think what I'm really trying to do is give her some good memories to take with her into her later years - memories where she isn't thinking "wow, my mom never did anything with me" or "wow, my mom never understood what was important to me".  

Or maybe what I'm really hoping is that someday when I'm old and infirm (in another five years or so!) that Amanda will remember all of things that I did for her because I loved her and she'll want to do a few for me because she loves me.  We've had our rough moments, don't for a minute think that we haven't, but I'm hoping the things I've done for love haven't just spoiled her but they've made her appreciate the opportunities that she's had. 

That's the plan at least - time will see if it works!

12 comments:

  1. If you believe you are doing the right thing by Amanda, then you are. :)

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  2. Thank you for taking part in Take This Tune. I don't think that being thoughtful and kind to those we love is "spoiling" them unless we encourage or abet a negative behavior. What you do for Amanda isn't spoiling it is giving her advertures of a lifetime. In turn she expands your horizons and gives you the opportunity to do things you might never have done otherwise.

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  3. spoiled? i just thought she was loved...

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxooxxo

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  4. What Empress Bee said. Right on the money.

    Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

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  5. Honestly, I don't understand why some people ever have children, because they parent SO poorly. You just do what comes naturally, because you're doing it right!

    Big hugs xo

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  6. You've really laid the groundwork for Amanda, Linda. Well done.

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  7. Of course I'm only judging from your blog, but I think you are a pretty great mom. You actually spend time with Amanda when the two of you are both off from work/school. You take her on (mostly) educational trips, it's not like you spend all that time at brainless movies, or amusement parks, etc. And you allow Amanda the freedom to be creative and to express herself and be an individual. :)

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  8. Yup, she's spoiled, but in a good way. I wish my mom was so understanding. And caring. And unselfish. And...you get the idea :)

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  9. I think you love your daughter and you want the best for her. She has a talent and a dream, and you help her learn more about herself by taking her to these places.

    I don't think that's spoiling. I think that's being a parent.

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  10. there's a fine line between spoiling and loving. usually spoiling comes in the little things....the no you don't have to eat your dinner and yes since you yelled for it you can have that candy things.

    what you're doing, as I see it, is nurturing her God Given talent to the extent that you're able. That's a good thing dearie. I always try to remember with my kids "the days are long but the years are short" and also that tomorrow is never promised to us. When my uncle dropped dead at age 42 my aunt was able to say that there was nothing he missed in life, because everything they really wanted to do, they did. That's a great thing to strive for. many many people will regret NOT having done things...but rarely do they regret DOING them.

    But you might want to invest in an oil derrick....just sayin'

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  11. Yes, Amanda gets to do stuff that other kids only dream of-but she's had to do without, too. And no matter what anyone says, she will remember these days fondly. I think it's wonderful that you take her to these places. You are feeding her creativity and helping her become the woman she will be. And knowing her in real life, that's going to be pretty amazing.

    And it's mostly because of you.

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  12. I agree with everything everyone said...it is true your enriching her life with all these adventures. I think it's cool... maybe your mom is just jealous.. could be ya never know. Wish I had a mom like you...Let's Roll!!!! Awesome

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