
Even though it's been said that misery loves company and I was depressed enough earlier this week to give thought to a broken-hearted version of Travis' weekly musical meme, I didn't really want to drag everyone else down with me. However, rather than just ignore the fact that the scar had fallen off an old wound and opened up the the hole in my heart that has been there for many years and I cried myself to sleep one night while clutching a teddy bear that maybe I should have gotten rid of 25 years ago as he's a reminder of someone I still love, I decided that it might be just a little more cathartic to just throw it out here on the old blog for all and sundry to see rather than just keep it to myself. Ok, so I guess misery really does love company after all!
I rather suspect that my old and dear friend Cyndi from California would be disappointed in the chink I found in my armor the other night but then again, I think maybe she'd also understand that even though it's been eight years since a very heavy door was closed once and forevermore on any communication between myself and the guy who still holds a very special place in my heart that every once in awhile the heartbreak is going to come back to remind me that I still miss someone.
Trust me, I don't dwell on it and I very rarely even think of the man anymore but for some reason I've recently had a few dreams that have haunted me a little bit and brought back the very painful realization that I am never ever going to see him again or hear his voice again or anything else and there's not a damned thing I can do about it but to accept the reality of the situation, re-patch that hole with perhaps something a little stronger, suck it up, and move on. To paraphrase Sting's song "A Thousand Years", I will always have the haunted memory of his face but I guess if I only fall apart once every eight years or so then I'm not doing all that badly, right?
I promise a happier version of Travis' Five on Friday meme next week but until then "I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees, the misty memories of days gone by" ... "and I think I'm gonna miss you for a long, long time."
Big hugs, sweetie. Having a broken hearts sucks. I've said it before and I'll say it again, for A Thousand Years and then some, I don't believe it's possible to UNlove someone. You may find a way to cope with being without them but you can never unlove them. How well I know.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs xo
Oh Linda. I'm so sorry to hear that you are sad. Very appropriate song choices for how you are feeling. Sting always brings me reminiscent feelings for me.
ReplyDeleteUNlove? No way! You'll always have a small place in your heart for old loves, and will some day be able to 'smile and remember when.' It's all good!
ReplyDeleteSending smiles and big hugs, honey...
HUgs... It's tough... I know...
ReplyDeleteTrue love never, ever, dies. I'm sorry it's still hurting honey. xx
ReplyDeleteThis may sound counterintuitive, but why would you want to "unlove" someone. Those experiences however shattering, were part of the tapestry of your life. The idea is to take those lessons on your way to loving someone else. There are always going to be times when that old love, jumps up into present time to bite you. Have a good cry and then use it to go forward.
ReplyDeleteThe song selections are wonderful and I got a really great weepy session out of "It's Going to Be A Long, Long Time".
I've been feeling a little heart broken lately as well, and it certainly doesn't help that there are about a million things that remind me of The Ex. That's never fun.
ReplyDeleteThere can sometimnes be occasions we feel like that, Linda.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed listending to your selections, Mine are finally up on Mike's Place.
ReplyDeleteThat kind of thing really sucks. So sorry you have to go through it. Hopefully you will feel better soon. Does it help to know that someone in South Carolina cares about your mood? I hope so, and don't get rid of the bear, you may need him again in another eight.
ReplyDeleteSmile soon,
Kat
Beautiful, beautiful songs. Chris Isaak's song gets me every time. I watched a young girl sing on Dr. Phil's show today and cried. Such a pure beautiful voice... Music gets me where I live.
ReplyDeleteI hate to hear that your heart hurts like that. But, I understand. I truly do. Not the same circumstances, I know, but love hurts at times, and I can relate to that.
~I actually read somewhere years ago that there is a chemical in tears that actually works like the chemicals in chocolate. You know how you feel after a good cry? (That's a big misnomer!) Evidently, those chemicals work. I can sleep for a week after a good crying jag.
But I love Jamie's words of wisdom. Now, if I could just apply that to myself.
(Doug's birthday was the 16th. I'm still crying. He would've been 49.)
Love to you, Linda.
~~~Blessings~~~
I don't know if it hurts more or helps a little that so many sad love songs are so beautiful to listen to.
ReplyDeleteI do like what Jamie said though. I don't know that I could have said it any better.
I'm sorry you're down.
I'm also going to say 'What Jamie said.'
ReplyDelete((hugs)) for you, Linda.
Loved the Sting track, the Patsy track and the Bonnie Raitt track.
Ahh...that Jamie girl is right you know. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
:( I'm sorry...
ReplyDeleteBIG HUGE hug