Saturday, February 19, 2011

Six Sad Songs on a Saturday

This post came about rather accidentally ... I was going through my CDs last night to upload some music to the computer so that I could put it on my iPod for my train ride down to Florida this coming Friday when I came across a CD that I had burned quite a few years ago with the simple title on the case of "Angst". Ut-oh ... I had totally forgotten about that CD but as soon as it was in my hand I immediately remembered why I'd made it and obviously it wasn't because I was at a high spot in my life.

Those of you who have been with me on this blog for some time are probably quite aware that I walk around with a hole in my heart and have been doing so for years. I don't think about the guy who put it there too much these days (oh thank goodness!) but he's someone I still love and always will. He can't be with me and I can't be with him but for awhile there we were together and it was that sort of heart-in-your-mouth, forget-to-breathe kind of love that has probably inspired more sad songs than anything else when it goes wrong.

Anyhow, long story short it did go wrong and not being a songwriter or musician myself I turned to the help of those who could in one of the saddest genres of music out there - country.  The CD in question has 18 songs that put into words what my heart was feeling and I'm sure I listened to it endlessly until I finally sucked it up, pulled myself together, and put the music of my life away where I completely forgot about it until last night when I pulled it out and decided to see just how angsty I was at the time.

Wow, I'm surprised I was upright and functioning and not taking copious amounts of anti-depressants at the time! However, I can assure you that I wasn't and that today I can listen to these songs with merely a twinge of sadness and regret for what might have been but never was rather than climbing back into a large pit of darkness and despair and pulling the covers back over my head.

Life goes on, hearts sort of heal, and even though you never really forget that you have a hole in your heart, you get on with life. Of course with that said, the song at the bottom of this pile still applies from time to time though thankfully those times are further and further apart. I no longer need to burn CDs labeled "Angst" to sum up my life and can now just enjoy the music for what it is - good music by good artists who got me through a tough patch in my life.











8 comments:

  1. oh honey i am so sorry it didn't work out for you. so so sorry. but i KNOW your mr. right is out there somewhere. i just know it!

    hugs, bee
    xoxoxoxoxo

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  2. I have a ton of those types of songs on my iPod. I've been tempted many times to make up a specific playlist of them but I don't think it's a good idea.

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  3. Well, now I'm depressed. And wondering what ever happened to Jeff Ott, the boy who dumped me at the roller skating rink for Roxanne Rodriguez, who wore a bigger training bra than me. Think I'll go dig out "We Belong" by Pat Benetar and reminisce...

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  4. I know about this Linda. I'm here and he's not very far away either. I'm so glad I've not gone through this. I wouldn't like it.

    Great music that fits the situation.

    Have a great day honey. Big hugs from sunny California. See you on the 27th. :)

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  5. Good to know you can listen to them now and feelm all right.

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  6. I have a good idea of how you feel as I have loved someone this way. The can't breathe without him but can't make things work either kinda thing. I guess what's different with me is I don't allow myself to give in to those depths of sorrow and despair. I just can't let them surface and I just can't go there. It's too sad and too scary to be that out of control of my feelings.

    I'm glad you're not in that deep, dark, sad place any more. That goes for me, too.

    I do love Brooks and Dunn! Gee, I haven't listened to them in quite a while! Boot Scootin' Boogie, anyone?

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  7. I suspect that music is an anti-depressant. I know for me when you are in that wake up crying go to sleep crying, music gives you a safe way to wallow until the mood burns itself out.

    To put a gentle twist on the feeling, who would want to go through life without loving another human being that much. There may be pain, but it proves you have a loving heart.

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  8. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my love for eight years but thankfully we are together now and have been for 39 years. I wish that could happen for you too Linda. xx

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