Friday, February 17, 2012

A Final Song for Cyndi


Last night at 8:22 p.m. I received a text message from Angela:
"Linda, we will be disconnecting mom's life support tonight. The doctor was very clear that she would not awaken. We think it's what mom would want. I would call but it's just too difficult."
I told her that I understood completely and to give her mom a kiss goodbye for me and tell her that I love her. Angela texted back and said that she would.

I'm still trying to process the fact that Cyndi's gone; that it was just one week ago that I was talking to her and laughing with her; that I was buying her "walnuts with seatbelts" from See's Chocolates and picking out a "Grandma duster" for her to wear instead of a hospital gown. When I left her to head back to Connecticut she was happily getting ready to have a shower and put on her new mint green robe with snaps down the front so that she could put it on easily in spite of the ventilator tube in her throat. After giving her a hug, I walked towards the door to leave and the very last thing she said to me was "I love you"; thank God I had the chance to tell her that I loved her too.

I keep waiting for her to tap me on the shoulder and tell me that "it just ain't right" or to suck it up and stop crying but that hasn't happened yet. Maybe she's too busy going through the initiation process in heaven and will get to me later ... I can only hope. And hope I will.

Rest in peace my dear, dear friend and know that you meant the world to me; I shall never ever forget you and will carry your memory in my heart forever. You were the best.

18 comments:

  1. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing ever. I'm so glad you were able to go out and have that time with her. Perhaps Cyndi was just waiting for you to do just that...

    big hugs xoxo

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  2. Oh Linda I'm so very sorry to hear about Cyndi. It's wonderful that you got to say goodbye and tell her you love her. xxxx

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  3. oh honey i am so sorry, just so sorry...

    hugs, bee
    xoxoxoxoxo

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  4. Linda, very sorry for your loss. These last posts have been very moving and show your care for your friend.

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  5. Linda, I wish I could give you a big hug right now ~ but feel comforted by the fact that you had a wonderful opportunity to share this special time with your friend ~ she is NOT gone ~ our spirit never dies, we just transition to our next home ~

    The Native American View On Life & Death ~ By White Eagle ~

    "You live on earth only for a few short years
    which you call an incarnation,
    and then you leave your body as an outworn dress
    and go for refreshment to your true home in the spirit."

    Hugs and love ~ Rhonda

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  6. Oh man! That is so sad! I'm so sorry. Hang in there, Linda. Rest in peace, Cyndi!
    Hugs from Ohio,
    I.

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  7. I'm so sorry to read this, Linda. I believe Barb is right; Cyndi was just waiting for you to get there so you could spend some precious time together before she passed.

    I'm thinking of you and sending you my love and hugs.

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  8. Dearest Linda, I know that no words will give you comfort right now but please know that I'm thinking of you and my thoughts and prayers are with Cyndi's family. Do take comfort in knowing that you got to see her and spent precious time with her...also that she knew how much you loved her. She will forever be in your heart and your life is so much richer for having known her. You know I'm here for you if you need to talk. xoxo

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  9. Hugs... big squishy, space-invading hugs... I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending prayers to all who knew her. Strength, wisdom, faith, and peace, my friend.

    Too soon... too soon.

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  10. After reading this, it makes me feel even better to remember that you were able to go and visit with her before the end. And that you were able to not just tell her you loved her but to show it too. What a beautiful song too that you chose to use as a last message to/for her as well. Prayers and Peace to you, Linda, and to Cyndi's family.

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  11. I'm so very sorry Linda, so very sorry. Hugs. :(

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  12. I'm so very sorry Linda-I know how much she means to you...

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  13. Dear Linda, feel free to borrow a shoulder to soak up the tears. Good byes are difficult and those you love most are the hardest to let go. Cyndi is at peace and eventually you will find the joys in memory to fill the wounds of today.

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  14. Sending LOVE to you. If there's anything I can do, just let me know.

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  15. Sorry for your loss; this is such a hard thing to go through. Please know that you're not alone.

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  16. I'm very sorry Linda. Sending you big hugs.

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  17. Peace to you and to all who knew and loved Cyndi.

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  18. We have learned to know your Cyndi a bit on this blog. She was a very special person and took good care of you in so many important ways throughout your life - that makes her special to us.

    Take your time. Sending prayers and love.
    Rest in peace, Cyndi.

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