A Tale of Two Anniversaries

When I looked at the date this morning it dawned on me that today used to be an anniversary for me and then it morphed into another type of anniversary for me so I guess that really makes it two anniversaries for me.

It was twenty years ago today that I got married for the second time to a Navy guy that I had met through my cousin Becky (he was her husband's brother - something that I don't hold against her!)  In retrospect there should have been warning flags flying all over the place but I had reached the point in time where I thought I was ready to share my life with someone else and also hoped that someone else would be a good dad to my son Michael whose own father had turned out to be less than stellar in the Parenting Department.

On what wasn't too bad of a day in August for New England (in other words both the temperature and humidity level were moderate) I rode down in a limo from my home in Canterbury to the Shepard By the Sea Chapel at the Submarine Base in Groton along with my bridesmaids and a stomach churning something awful.  At one point along the ride, the limo driver jokingly asked if I'd like to go to New York or Boston instead and I seem to remember saying that "anywhere other than Groton" would be fine but I don't think he believed me as we arrived at the church on time.

I don't remember too much about the wedding ceremony other than my Dad telling me as we walked down the aisle that there was still time to change my mind and then feeling like I wanted to just sit down on the steps at the front of the church and be sick.  Great wedding remembrances, huh?  Yea .. not so much.

Unfortunately the rest of the marriage never really seemed to get much better than the wedding day itself which I think I always knew in the back of my mind was a major mistake. At the time I chalked it up to a case of the nerves and blah, blah, blah but since then I've learned to listen to my gut and that little voice that tells me when I'm about to do something really exceptionally stupid.

Ten years to the day later on August 17th, 2001 I finally put an end to the charade that was my marriage and told my husband that I wanted a divorce and there would be no going back this time.  We had flitted around the possibility of a break-up before but he believed that God expected us to stay together forever regardless of how miserable we made each other and our children and I didn't have the guts to say otherwise for quite some time.  Finally my level of misery had reached the point where it was impossible to ignore the fact that in addition to being horribly unhappy myself, I was making those around me the same way so I finally said that was it, the end, no more.

I have never once regretted that decision.  I have sometimes wondered if it would have been better for the girls if I had sucked it up and continued to live with a man that I didn't love or respect but I'd like to think that I made the right choice.  It hasn't always been the easy choice but I think it was the right choice.

So today marks a dual anniversary - the day I lost myself twenty years ago and the day I reclaimed myself ten years later.  With no offense to my ex who isn't a horrible monster, I like the second anniversary better.

The 374th Anniversary of the National Guard's "First Muster"

Last Saturday, April 2nd, Jamie and I took a semi-last-minute trip to Salem, Massachusetts in order to witness the commemoration of the 374th anniversary of the “First Muster”. For those of you wondering exactly what the “First Muster” is allow me to explain!

When early American colonists set up their defense system, they adopted the English militia system which obligated all males between the ages of 16 and 60 to possess arms and participate in the defense of the community. The militia drilled once a week and provided guard details each evening as there was a growing threat to the Massachusetts Bay Colony by the Pequot Indians who were a pretty ruthless tribe and they needed to be in a high state of readiness just in case the call to arms was sounded.

On December 13th, 1636, the General Court of the Massachusetts Bay Colony ordered the organization of the colony’s militia companies into three regiments: the North, South, and East Regiments. By organizing the militia into smaller groups it increased the efficiency and responsiveness of the militia and gave the colonists better protection. The first muster of the East Regiment took place in Salem, Massachusetts in 1637 and, though the exact date is unknown, it was the first time a regiment of militia drilled for the common defense of a multi-community area and laid the foundation for what would become the Army National Guard.

The "First Muster" is commemorated each year in early April by historical groups and military re-enactors as well as the 101st Engineer Battalion of the Massachusetts Army National Guard who, for 374 years, has continued the East Regiment’s proud heritage of service as the National Guard continues its historic mission of providing the first-line of defense for our nation.

Alrighty then … we’ve got history … we’ve got patriotism … we’ve got men in uniform … and we’ve even got a band … what more could a gal with a camera want? It should come as no surprise that I am a self-professed sucker for military gatherings, something which I probably come by naturally being that I was raised as an Air Force brat and then joined the Air Force myself right out of high school. (I guess I should probably also mention that I was a Navy wife for awhile, too, but I really don’t remember too much from that time in my life.)  Let’s also not forget that Jamie graduated from a military school in June that was part of the Florida National Guard and this just seemed like too good of an opportunity to pass up so I loaded the car up with the kid and the camera and off we went in search of history and maybe even a little eye-candy in uniform!

The 2nd Corps Cadets Veterans Association of Salem hosts the event which began at 10:00 a.m. when they gathered for a ceremony in front of St. Peter’s Church where they laid a wreath, played taps, and fired a 21-gun salute at the grave of Captain Stephen Abbott, founder and first commander of the 2nd Corps of Cadets of the East Regiment. The lineage of the 2nd Corps is now proudly carried by Battery A, 1st Battalion, 101st Field Artillery Regiment of the Massachusetts Army National Guard.  Jamie and I missed this part of the celebration as we were running just a bit late but had plenty of time to witness the next part of the day’s events which was a memorial service at Armory Park in front of the old armory (now the Salem Visitor Center).

At that service, the assembled military re-enactors, members of the 101st Engineer Battalion, and others who had gathered to mark the occasion listened to remarks by Lt. Cmdr. Larry Conway of the 2nd Corps as well as from Mr. Jay Finney, Chief Marketing Officer of the Peabody Essex Museum, and Army Lt. Col. Richard M. Bertone, Commander, 101st Engineer Battalion.  Another wreath was laid, "Taps" was played by a member of the Air National Guard Band of the Northeast, and another 21-gun salute was given to honor the soldiers that were killed in the battles of Lexington and Concord.

From there, the soldiers and assembled groups marched down Essex Street to Salem Common where the Massachusetts Army National Guard units assembled with the historical military groups for a ceremonial inspection that was performed by Maj. Gen. Joseph C. Carter, The Adjutant General of the Massachusetts National Guard, along with Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll and U.S. Representative John Tierney of the Sixth Congressional District of Massachusetts who proposed a bill designating his home city of Salem as the birthplace of the National Guard just prior to leaving Washington to attend the muster.

The 101st Field Artillery Salute Battery fired a 13-gun salute to honor past and present troops using Howitzer cannons that not only shook the field but activated several car alarms in the area and near the end of the ceremony an F-16 performed a very quick fly-over that was darned hard to get a picture of because I was on the wrong side of the Common to get a good shot - not to mention they fly really, really fast!

The ceremonies ended with a Pass in Review where the assembled units marched across the Common and past the reviewing area with the Commander and other assembled guests.

All in all, I'm quite happy that I made the drive from Connecticut up to Salem to witness the commemoration and ceremonies and will most definitely try to get back next year for the 375th Anniversary.  I think it's great that Salem honors the men and women who serve as citizen/soldiers in the Guard and Reserves - especially this year considering that members of the 101st Field Artillery Regiment and the 101st Engineer Battalion just returned in December from a deployment to Afghanistan and Iraq where they lost one of their own on April 19th, 2010 when Sergeant Robert J. Barrett from Fall River, Massachusetts was killed in an IED attack while on dismounted patrol just south of Kabul International Airport in Afghanistan. Sgt. Barrett was only 20 years old and left behind a 2-year old daughter.

When you stop and think about what risks the men and women of the National Guard take and the fact that they put their lives on hold and on the line for the rest of us, it really makes a lot of sense to commemorate, celebrate, and thank them as often as possible. Don't you agree?


The above video is one that I put together with pictures from the muster - there are also additional pictures from the muster on my Flickr account if you're interested in seeing more of the day's events.

In conclusion, a big THANK YOU to all of the men and women of our military no matter if you are Active, Reserve, or Guard. I really can't say it enough.

Thursday Things

Yesterday - the 7th anniversary of my father's death - was pretty much what I would expect from the 24th of February - dark, rainy, and dismal.  Funny how some days just tend to match the anniversary. Just as Green Day's Bille Joe Armstrong wrote in Wake Me Up When September Ends  -

I've got to agree that the 7 years has gone so fast and sometimes I have to do the math a couple of times over to make sure it really has been that long. That doesn't mean that any of my family has forgotten by any stretch of the imagination, though, and I guess it was only fitting that yesterday was raining buckets - in my world anyway.  Feel free to wake me up when February ends.

On a lighter note, Amanda had an assignment in her Advanced Drawing class to do a self-portrait in graphite and this is the end result -

At least, that's a picture of the end result as the actual end result itself is being mounted and matted and then going on display at an art gallery in Mystic with a price tag attached!  Of the 16 students in her class, Amanda's drawing is the only one going on display which I think is pretty danged cool (insert goofy proud parent grin here).  Once Amanda remembers to find out just which art gallery the portrait is going to be displayed at I'll be sure to take a trip down there and get a picture of the picture. 

In regards to her artwork, she's happiest with how the nose came out but I'm pretty impressed with both the hands and the eyes.  Well, actually as a non-artist, I'm darned impressed with the whole piece!  If it doesn't sell, I'm pretty sure I've got a nice spot on the wall for it myself even though I see that exact same look in real life quite frequently!

Three Years of Blogging and Friendships

Holy cats! Has it been three years already since I first started writing this blog? Seriously? For those who never had the chance to read my very first post, feel free to click here so that you can see what this blog was supposed to be about when I first started it back on July 25th, 2006. I think I have more or less, at times!, stuck to my original goal of writing about being a single parent though I'd have to say that has definitely not always been the case!

When I first started blogging, I'm not sure I knew exactly what I was getting into as I had no clue that there was such a thing as a Blogosphere, had no idea what a meme was (a French grandmother?!?), and certainly never knew that there were so many wonderful people out there to meet and become friends with both virtually and in real life.

I was thinking this morning about the wonderful group of people that I have had the privilege of meeting face-to-face; people who have enriched my life and made me laugh and smile and even break down a little bit of that "hugaphobia" that I have!

The very first blogger that I met was Ms. Maggie Moo who, at the time we met, was also a fellow Nutmegger ...

We met on September 2nd, 2007 and of course the very thing she did when we met was give me a big ole' hug. In addition to that one of the things I remember most about our meeting was the "tiny Margaritas" we were served and the fact that we had no problem spending four+ hours laughing and talking!

On October 5th, I got to meet my second blog-friend in real life, Morgen of It's a Blog Eat Blog World. Mo had taken the train down from Michigan to spend the weekend at Mags' house and we had a wonderful time of it slow-dancing in Mags' kitchen, eating some of her delicious food, and then exploring parts of Connecticut in one of the worst heat waves we'd had all year! Ugh!


Still, it was one heck of an outstanding weekend and we had such a good TIME even as we laughed our way through the HEAT of Gillette Castle!

On November 2nd of 2007, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting another blogger from Michigan - Carrie of Asara's Mental Meanderings, and her wonderful family. Carrie and Billy had taken a road trip with their two adorable children and we met at a Chili's not far from the hotel they were staying in. Mags joined us as did Amanda and we all had a really good time. Geesh, I look horrible in this picture so I think I'm going to have to get together with Carrie again to get a new one!


The next time I was to meet anyone from the Blogosphere again wasn't until March 29th, 2008 when I was ushered into the presence of Royalty at a Bertucci's Pizzeria in Glastonbury, Connecticut.

It was there that I met Queen Mimi herself who was visiting the north from her castle in Bloggingham and Princess Patti who had driven in from her estate in Ansonia. My hair looked like crap but in spite of that we had a great time laughing and carrying on and no doubt scaring the locals! It was a night to be remembered and we truly had A Royal Time of It!

On Saturday, August 9th I got together with royalty again when I met Princess Patti's husband and fellow blogger, Prince Ralph of Airhead 55 along with their lovely daughter the Lady Allegra at the local Olive Garden.

We giggled our way through a delicious meal and probably raised the eyebrows of a few other diners but I've come to the conclusion that when fellow bloggers get together, worrying about what other people think is not a problem!

Earlier in the year during a trip out to Stockton, California, I had the extreme privilege of meeting my first two West Coast bloggers - Sandee of Comedy Plus and Katherine of Wading Through My Stream of Consciousness - when we all got together on Friday, May 2nd for dinner at Cancun, my favorite Mexican restaurant of all!

Joining us were my friend Cyndi, Sandee's hubby Zane (the official photographer of the evening), and Katherine's significant other Dave (who now also has a blog of his own!).

This past May I found myself out in California yet again and Sandee and Katherine and I reprised our dinner at Cancun on Monday, May 4th. Unfortunately Dave was out enjoying his Teamster 5-0 Tour and couldn't join us but Zane was there with the camera again recording the event for posterity! We actually ended up closing the place down we were having such a good time and the evening remains one of the highlights of my trip West. Which also gives me good reason to go West again at some point!

Unfortunately I don't have any pictures from the meeting but during my trip to Stockton this past May, I also got to meet another West Coast blogger when I first arrived in Sacramento on May 2nd. Shortly after arriving in Sacramento I had the privilege of meeting up with Carol from A Letter To Me at one of the local IHops where we had a lovely late breakfast. Carol is originally from Massachusetts but has been living in the Sacramento area for quite some time. She truly is a lovely lady and I was thrilled to meet her though I wasn't smart enough to take a picture or have someone else take one!

On September 8th, 2008 I met my very first blogger from Across the Pond when Claire arrived in Connecticut in anticipation of our Blogger Beachhouse Vacation in Rhode Island. What a great birthday present (my 50th was the day after her arrival) but I can't post a picture as Claire has even more of a phobia of cameras than I do. We spent the next day going out to a birthday lunch with my friend Rhonda and then hit the local pub, The Harp & Dragon, with some of my friends from work and Mags who drove down for the auspicious occasion. Because I don't have a picture with Claire from that night (bugger the girl!) I'll post one from our beach vacation ... that's her with her back turned to the camera looking home towards England!

Finally, on Saturday September 13th myself, Claire, and Kai (who had flown into Hartford from Canada the night before) piled in the car with a lot of stuff en route to a week on Matunuck Beach in Rhode Island for our much-anticpated Blogger Beach Vacation. Joining us there was Mo, Mags, and Callie of Scrappin' With Life ... who had flown into Boston from the wilds of Oregon and come down with Mags and Mo.

I find it hard to believe that almost a full year has gone by already since we spent that week at the beach and I can't go back to Rhode Island at all without thinking about at least one or two things that happened during that week which included a ferry ride out to Block Island, a lot of really good cooking, and a ton of picture-taking!

Just last week I met another blogging friend who has found herself in Massachusetts for a few months while her husband is assigned to a job at a local yogurt plant. Lois from Lowdown From Lois is just like she is on her blog - warm and friendly and a real hoot to spend time with. You can't help but smile and laugh when you're around her and her husband Hank is just as nice - he also has that streak of sarcasm that I so enjoy in a person! I'm hoping we have the chance to get together again a time or two while they're on the East Coast.

So ... after all that, the question now begs to be asked ... who's next as I start on my fourth year of asking "Are We There Yet??" Any volunteers?? I have a few blog posts available for future meetings!!

My Three Anniversaries on the Third

Today I mark three anniversaries: it was thirty-three years ago today that I graduated from Windham High School in Willimantic, Connecticut and began my ascent into adulthood (snicker), it is my six-year anniversary as an Emergency Medical Dispatcher with American Ambulance (yay!), and also the one-month anniversary of my time in Santa Cruz with Katherine, an amazing woman who lives in an amazing place. Guess which one I have a few pictures of?

No, no - that's not Santa Cruz in that picture above, that would be Aptos (I think) which is south of Santa Cruz (Katherine please correct me if I'm wrong!). On my first day in Santa Cruz, Sunday the 3rd, we took a drive along the coast and this was one of the places we saw. It was pretty foggy as it had been raining in California for an unprecedented number of days in honor of my arrival but it added a rather interesting, almost Hitchcock-esque feel to the area.

This is part of the infamous Steamer Lane in Santa Cruz where surfers wait patiently to catch a wave and sea lions bark loudly in the fog like flippered foghorns warning of the rocks ahead.

In spite of the chill and the fog and the encroaching darkness, men dressed as seals in black rubber wetsuits wait for the ocean swells that will take them on a ride across the cold waters.

Even in the fog, though, Santa Cruz has much to offer - especially when you've got an ace tour guide to lead the way! Come on back tomorrow and I'll take you on Day Two of my trip to the California Coast - one month to the day! Don't you love anniversaries??

Happy 2nd Blogaversary to Me!

It's true what they say about time flying by while you're having fun as I find it extremely hard to believe that it was two years ago today that I sat down and wrote my very first post - "How I Got Here and Where I'm Going - Maybe!" - that began my journey of Are We There Yet??

Since then I've gone through several template changes; learned that there was a huge Blogosphere out there made up of some truly wonderful people; had the opportunity to meet some of those truly wonderful people in real life who turned out to be even more wonderful off of the page; subscribed to 75 fantastic blogs in my Google Reader; improved my photography skills; and shared the ups and downs of my life with people who have given me hope, encouragement, support, love, and laughter. And those things are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the impact blogging has had on my life.

This post is #1,111 for me and even though I had mentioned to Mags this past weekend that I hoped that for my blogaversary this post would be that number, it wasn't intentional that it turned out that way. Instead, it was because of yet another very sad Line of Duty Death in Florida that it turned out to be that number. Even though those posts get sadder to write each time, I feel I owe it to those fallen officers and their families to acknowledge their sacrifices. It's the least I can do given the circumstances. Since I began doing them at the beginning of the year, I have written 23 posts honoring 59 brave men and women who have lost their lives in the line of duty as law enforcement officers - 23 posts that I would rather never have had the chance to write. Had this been post #1,088 rather than #1,111 I think I would have been happier but alas, such was not the case.

Anyway, enough sadness for now. This is a celebration and there's cake to be had for what's a party without a cake?!?

In closing, I'd just like to say to the 85,556 visitors (at the time of this post) to my blog - thank you for stopping by and for being a part of my blogging experience; it's been a great two years and I'm looking forward to the next two as I continue to ask Are We There Yet??