Counting Sheep Over College Costs

Unlike others who seem to have no problem nodding off to sleep at the drop of a hat, I'm starting to have problems sleeping lately which I think is a direct result of feeling stressed and overwhelmed about the financing for Amanda to attend art college.  The amount of time that I've been spending lying in bed tossing and turning and trying to get to sleep - and staying asleep - without success is directly related to the amount of time I've spent trying to figure out Amanda's college financing. 

In the past few days, I've spent countless hours on-line researching one scholarship after another and have come to the conclusion that Amanda is basically up the creek with a leaky canoe and no paddles when it comes to grants or scholarships as she's the wrong ethnicity, I make too much money, we live in the wrong place, and she's healthy.  There are scholarships out there for some of the most obscure things but darned few for regular old kids who come from middle income families.

I know that everyone has told me not to stress about it as things will work out but based on my EFC (expected family contribution) on the FAFSA (federal application for student aid) Amanda does not qualify for any grants whatsoever which makes the only option available to her student loans.  Granted, everyone has student loans these days and it's all part and parcel of going to college but there's also the hurdle of her having to have a co-signer and - truth to be told - my credit is horrible and is not going to help her in the least.

I have no credit cards and I have no debt other than average bills and my car payment but my credit took a major hit after my divorce and it looks more like a piece of moldy Swiss cheese than anything.  It doesn't help that I totally suck at money management.  I don't think I could co-sign a loan for a stick of gum, never mind major college financing, so the whole thing has really got my stomach in a knot and my head whirling. 

It stinks that I can't be as excited as she is about the prospect of attending Montserrat as I'm just too busy worrying about where the money is going to come from.  I'm very proud and happy that she received a scholarship (a girl in one of her art classes got accepted into Montserrat but didn't get a scholarship) but there's still a lot of money that's going to have to be paid for her to pursue her dream.  Oh, and for those wondering - her father has not contributed a single dime towards anything to do with her since she moved back in with me in October of 2005 so there's no way he's going to be providing anything towards her college education.

I just need to find 27,000 people willing to donate $1 each as that would pay for her first year of college but alas, I don't have anywhere near that many friends on Facebook and I doubt that putting a virtual tin cup on the sidebar of my blog linked to Paypal would do it either!  I guess I could continue to try "College Financing via the Lottery System" but if Saturday night's dismal results of the two Powerball tickets I bought is any indication, that ain't gonna work either I'm afraid. Sigh. I really should have planned better for all this.

At the rate things are going, I'm going to give myself an ulcer!  Oh well perhaps I just need to learn to relax ...

I've Got a Question - You've Got an Answer

Busy day again today so just time for a quick post before I get at it and then hopefully later tonight I can relax a bit and catch up on my blog reading. At least that's the plan!

Today's question is simple and yet probably complicated in more ways than a lot of people will ever know ...

How has the current global economic situation affected you or someone you know?

I know we here in America like to cry about the way our economy has most definitely gone down the tubes but in doing so, I think we tend to forget that there are a lot of other nations and people out there who are suffering just as much - if not more - than we are.

I, personally, know of at least two people who have been laid off due to the companies they work for downsizing and neither one of them have been able to find work since being laid off. You have no idea how thankful I am to have a job that I know is secure so even though I still can't make ends meet, at least I can get them closer than those people who have no job.

So now ... over to you!

I've Got a Question - You've Got an Answer

Lately a lot has been written and talked about when it comes to President Obama's economic stimulus package and how it's going to bring our country back from that brink of financial disaster that we have been teetering on. Personally, I think there's a lot of stuff in there that could have been cut but I'm just your average Joe Citizen so what do I know? The folks in Washington are never going to listen to me so I might as well stop shouting at the television set and save my voice!

While the government has been handing out money left, right, and center, though, it would have been really nice had they decided to hand some my way as I'm more than sure that I could have done my civic duty and put it right back into the stressed-out economy with a fair amount of ease. After all, it doesn't do any business any good for the government to give them money to help shore them up if people still aren't going to be able to afford to buy their goods as once the money runs out they're going to be right back where they were to begin with. Rather than forking over trillions of dollars to banks, auto companies, and every other Tom, Dick, and Harry company that was ready to go under, the federal government should have given each and every taxpaying American a check and then told us to go forth and spend. Buy a home! Buy a car! Go on a vacation! Buy some new living room furniture! Just go buy!

I've no doubt that we Americans would have rallied to the cause and then gone out and sunk that money into any number of products made by American businesses and then those same businesses could stay in business and not lay off their workers because people were buying and there was work to be had! But again, what do I know?

At any rate, to get to the question in this post ... hypothetically speaking (of course), the federal government decides that they are going to stimulate the economy the best way they know how and put money into the hands of the people; to that end, a check for $10,000 lands in your mailbox with the proviso that you have to go out and spend that $10,000. You can't save it for a rainy day or invest it or any of that stuff - you have to go spend it ... so ...

What do you spend your $10,000 on?

My answer is pretty easy being that I really don't like to shop so wouldn't want to spend any time in the mall doling out my windfall. Instead, I would go on several vacations with the kids - definitely a cruise and definitely a trip out to California to visit my friends and family out there as well as invest in a lot of food at my two favorite Mexican restaurants! California needs some help paying for those new octuplets they're footing the bill for so I think it would be good to spend some of my money out there and help them out with that!

I'd finally get Amanda that synthesizer she's been wanting, buy a new bedroom set (none of that discount furniture but a really nice bedroom set!), and if there was enough left over maybe I'd buy a new laptop. Not that $10,000 goes as far as it used to, mind you, but I bet I could have a good time making it go somewhere!

So what about you? How would you spend your money?

No Black Friday for Me!

Black Friday - the day when merchants all across the country are holding their breath in anticipation of getting the accounts on their ledgers to finally be in the black rather than the red; the day when shoppers all across the country beat feet to the merchants in the wee hours of the morning to try to find the best values possible; the day when I don't even think about going anywhere close to a store because a) I hate crowds, b) I hate getting up early, and c) I'd don't even have any money to go shopping with!

I know that retailers across the country are holding their collective breaths today hoping that all of the predictions that have been made about the horrible economic season aren't as bad as they've heard but I don't know. It really has been a tough year for a lot of people and money is extremely tight.

Right now I'm holding my breath until next Thursday when my next paycheck comes in and not buying anything I don't positively need no matter how great those Black Friday sales might be! Happy shopping to everyone else!

The Rising Cost of Gas

While heading out to the casino this past Wednesday night to meet my Mom and Aunt at Bingo, I passed by my local neighborhood gas station where I normally fill up. At that time gas was going for $3.46 a gallon which was probably the cheapest in town. I didn't need gas so drove right on by without giving it too much of a thought.

The next day I had to pass by the same gas station prior to going into work and gas had climbed up to $3.64 a gallon - overnight! Needless to say, I was a bit appalled and shocked to see that it gone up 18 cents for no good reason. Yesterday I passed by the same gas station where the sign declared gas to have gone up yet again to $3.66 a gallon! What on earth is going on? By the time I need to actually put gas in my car it will probably be $3.75 a gallon or worse.

At this rate, I'm beginning to think it might be a little cheaper to invest in a couple of horses and saddles as hay has got to be a lot less cheaper than gas is turning out to be lately. Of course, it's going to be hard to find a good place to put the CD changer!

So, how does gas look where you're at? I'm sure I'm not the only one suffering at the pumps.

Just Overwhelmed

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If you stopped by today looking for a light-hearted, cheerful post then you might want to pass this one by because I can tell you before I even finish the first sentence that this is not going to be one. Should you choose to stay and read then at least I can say that you were warned ahead of time and yet chose to take your chances anyway!

Before I start bitching and whining about things (ah-ha, so that's what this post is going to be like, eh?) let me just chalk my current mood up to a few things like the nasty weather that we get in New England this time of year, the lousy quality of sleep I get most nights, and a job where I just want to beat my head against the dispatch console sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I would like to think that I am good at it; as many years as I've been dispatching, I hope I'm good at it but that doesn't necessarily prove true in all cases! However, there are days like today - days when there are already so many scheduled calls on the spreadsheet that you have no idea where you are going to put any more but you have to because the phones keep ringing and the schedulers need to give the facility that's calling some sort of time remotely close to the one that they're asking for. Never mind the emergencies that you have to factor in, too - sometimes it just seems impossible. Then add on people going home sick or injured and you're basically up the proverbial creek sans any sort of paddle. If you've ever played Tetris and get to the part where the tiles are falling faster and faster and you're finding it harder and harder to find a spot where they will fit in then you know exactly what I'm talking about!

Today was one of those days so naturally I came home a little stressed around the edges and probably needing a drink or two but I don't really drink - not very often anyway! Good thing, too, as I can see where my job might eventually lead one to becoming a raging alcoholic but I've always believed that getting drunk doesn't really help as once you're sober not only are all the problems you were drinking to get away from still there but now you've got a hang-over to boot! Plus there's the fact that I can't afford to drink.

My finances are an even bigger source of stress for me then not having enough ambulances or wheelchair vans to go around. As I have said in the past, most unfortunately I did not inherit my mother's flair for finances. When it comes to managing my money, I truly stink on ice. Truly!

A few years back I was actually starting to make some headway and not only keeping my head above water but having enough extra to maybe go to a movie or out to eat once in awhile or other little things that we all like to do to enjoy life. There was nothing extravagant - no cruises, no trips to Disney, nothing like that but I could scrape up enough money to go visit my friends in California or take a train trip down to New York City with my bud Paula, things like that but now ... forget it.

I was looking at the calendar this morning and counting the days until I need to take Jamie to the airport and it was depressing as hell. She leaves in just a little over a week and we haven't been able to do much of anything this summer because I've barely been able to keep the lights turned on and some sort of food in the kitchen. We've been to one movie and went on our trip to Hartford (which was mostly free stuff) and that's been it. Amanda has really been wanting to go see the new Harry Potter movie but even that has been out of my reach financially.

There are times when I feel like a failure. I am almost fifty years old and I have no savings to speak of. If I lost my job tomorrow I'd be living under the railroad bridge with the other homeless probably within a month as it would take about that long for my landlord to kick me out (nice guy that he may be, he needs to pay the mortgage on this place). I wouldn't be able to live in my car either as no doubt that would be repossessed shortly after I got booted out of the house!

Of course, there would be some advantages to living under the bridge - I would no longer have to worry about the ridiculously high utility bills that stress me out every month, there would be no messy house with the girls' stuff tossed all over it to rankle me, I could qualify for Medicaid and have all my health benefits paid 100%, and Norwich has a really nice Soup Kitchen downtown so I wouldn't have to worry about food. Amanda probably wouldn't like the accommodations but she could always go live in Florida with her Dad and sister. I'm sure he'd continue to bug me for child support but as you know, you can't get blood from a stone or a turnip plus he'd have to find me first!

There are days when I wake up in the morning and while trying to talk myself into getting up and going to work I ask myself "Is this it? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?" It's a rather depressing thought overall. I get up (eventually) - I go to work - I come home - I attempt to feed the girls something - I do my blogging - I read a bit - I go to bed - I toss and turn most of the night - and then I get up in the morning and it all starts over again. There appears to be something missing.

Barring all the whining though, I'm not unhappy - really I'm not! I guess I'm just tired of being under all this single-parent stress - financially, emotionally, and even physically to a certain extent. This is my second go-round with being a single parent as I raised my son on my own from age 6 months to 11 years and I can remember feeling this way then, too, but I was a lot younger and I think it was easier to deal with. Right now I just feel sort of overwhelmed at times.

Just overwhelmed.

Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel & other assorted sayings!

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Mark my words, I do love a good turn of a phrase and tend to use clichés and sayings a lot - it makes me happy as a clam when I can find an expression that hits the nail on the head. I figure if somebody before me has said it better than I can then why not borrow their words rather than stumble over my own? I would think the original utterer of the phrase would think it was the cat's pajamas or the bee's knees to have someone else use their words. I wouldn't bat an eye if someone were to quote me; as a matter of fact, I would be pleased as punch!

Lo and behold, I had occasion to use the phrase scraping the bottom of the barrel yesterday as I was caught between a rock and a hard place when it came to our financial and grocery situation here at the House of Mouseski. Not to cry crocodile tears, but Mother Hubbard's cupboard was bare while at the same time I barely had one red cent and payday is not until this coming Thursday. I had $15.00 to my name in ye olde checking account and as I'm sure you all know, $15.00 is not going to feed two teenagers and an adult for very long at all - at least not on anything other than Ramen noodles and to do that would really be pushing the envelope - to say the least!

If I didn't get my ducks in a row and come up with some sort of cash for food to last until payday there would be the devil to pay with my two hungry teens and considering there had been virtually no food in the house since Thursday I was really under the gun. No doubt about it, desperate times call for desperate measures however there was light at the end of the tunnel as I remembered the only resource of cash I had left in the house ... my piggy bank!

Thankfully I have gotten into the habit of tossing any change I might have left over into this little piggy to save for a rainy day and at this point, as far as my finances were concerned, there was no room to swing a cat so that rainy day had arrived in spades. In addition to this little fella there is another larger piggy bank downstairs but that one held mostly pennies so I had to wing it with just the one. After shaking all the change out (because of course the key is lost!) ...

... it was time to fish or cut bait so Jamie and I hightailed it down to the local Stop & Shop grocery store where they had a Coinstar machine. As a rule, I hate these machines and would rather roll the coins and take them to the bank myself but it was a Saturday afternoon and my bank definitely observes banker's hours on the weekend. It really got my goat that I had to pay 8.9 cents on the dollar to use the machine but they had me over a barrel and I didn't see where I had much choice. In order to give the girls three squares a day I needed to pay the piper his due otherwise I was poor as a church mouse and didn't have a pot to piss in.

With our small slush fund in hand, Jamie and I perused the aisles making sure that we could get the most bang for our buck. For the love of Pete, though, it was certainly frustrating! The bottom line was we had less than $70.00 (counting the money in my checking account) to buy groceries for three people for six days and it seemed a bit of a sticky wicket! We certainly weren't going to be eating high on the hog or from soup to nuts but it was time to roll with the punches as beggars can't be choosers and it didn't seem that there was going to be any manna from heaven falling at our feet!

It was with a wing and a prayer that we approached the check-out registers, hoping against hope that we hadn't broke the bank with our meager purchases. I waited with bated breath as the cashier rung up the items in our cart and for awhile there it seemed to be touch and go but when all was said and done we were close but no cigar as the total was 72 cents over what we had after Coinstar had taken its pound of flesh. I forked out the remainder via debit card (along with getting $10 back for gas) and then we loaded up the whole kit and caboodle, hit the dusty trail, and made our way home.

So for the next few days at least I can keep the wolves from the door and everything is hunky dory. I must say, though, that it would be nice to someday be in high cotton and have more than two nickels to rub together but alas, I can tell you straight from the horse's mouth that the writing is on the wall and 911 isn't a job you go into for the money so bringing home the bacon is always going to be a dicey situation and that's no cock and bull story!

Oh, and just for the record, writing this post was a hoot and you can bet your bottom dollar I'd do it again in a New York minute!