Fifty Shades of No Thank You!

Every once in awhile a book comes out that I hear everyone making a big fuss about and I wonder whether I should read it or not. This feeling doesn't come over me very often as - to be honest - I'm a bit of a book snob and I really don't like to read something just because it's popular or trending. I'm not a big fan of jumping on band wagons if you will as I've got plenty of things to fill my time with so if I'm going to take the time to read a book, it's going to be a good one.

I much prefer classics like those books written by Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, the Brontë sisters, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle but that's not to say that I don't enjoy more modern authors like Janet Evanovich, Tom Patterson, Nicholas Sparks and/or Evans, Patricia Cornwell, Stephen King, and Mitch Albom.  Of course, one of my favorite up-and-coming authors is my friend Gale Martin whose first book Don Juan in Hankey, PA was a wonderful read and whose second book is coming out soon but more on her later this month when I review that book - for now I want to talk about a book that's become quite popular and which I attempted to read this weekend.

Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James which is set largely in Seattle and explores the dominate/submissive relationship between the young virgin Anatasia Steele and the drop-dead-gorgeous, really young business magnate and title character Christian Grey. It's the first book in a trilogy which according to the website hype is:

"Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever."

That may be true for some people but I'm going to have to take their word for it as I simply cannot see me finishing even the first book as - just a shade over five chapters into the book - I've decided that I've had it with the poor writing, the characters that I really don't like, and the overwhelming feeling that I'm reading a story about Bella Swan's identical twin who, instead of falling for a sparkly vampire, falls for a rich guy whose past has made him a big fan of bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.

I honestly didn't even know that the book started out as a piece ofTwilight  fan fiction which was originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name "Snowqueens Icedragon" before it was rewritten as an original piece but it's quite easy to see that the main female character is very Bella Swanesque - she's uncoordinated, self-deprecating, innocent, and annoying. No doubt when they make the movie they'll cast Kristen Stewart to play her as the role is right up her awful-acting alley.

A mere 68 pages into the book with nary a sex scene to be read (so you can't call me a prude!), I've decided that I've read far enough and the book is going back to the friend that I borrowed it from so that she can lend it to the others who have asked her for it.  After all, I see no sense in holding up someone else's chance to read a book they might enjoy when I'm pretty certain that even if I were to read another 68 pages or the entire 514, I'm not going to like the characters any better.  Heck, I'm not even interested enough to get to the first sex scene (and I certainly don't mind reading steamy sex scenes if I'm being perfectly honest) but I've just go NO interest in either of the book's characters.

Maybe I'm too old?  Maybe I just don't like poor writing?  Maybe I just don't have the time for this sort of book when there are so many other really good ones out there to be read?  Ah well, no matter what the case may be, it's fifty shades of no thank you for me and when Hollywood makes the movie you won't see me in the theater either - not unless they somehow manage to cast Robert Downey, Jr. as Christian Grey! 

A Monday Moment

Haz I ever told u I r Team Edward??

Comments on Comments

Sunday again already and less than a week away from Thanksgiving - hokey smoke, Bullwinkle, where has the time gone?!? Even if I don't have the answer to that one, I do have the answer to where the time is going to be going during this next week as I've got The Work Schedule From Hell coming up. With 32 hours of overtime scheduled over the course of this Sunday to next Sunday, I want to apologize in advance if I don't get the chance to leave too many comments on too many other blogs but I do hope you'll still come by and visit me here and leave the occasional comment. After all, if I don't have any comments then I don't have a Sunday post for next week!

Anyhow, enough making excuses for the upcoming week, let's look back at last week, shall we??

My post for Monday, On Books and Love, was more or less a short review of the Stephenie Meyer novel that has absolutely nothing to do with vampires called The Host. It was a book that I initially had a little trouble getting into but once I did, I thoroughly enjoyed it as it seems that Stephenie Meyer and I have a lot in common when it comes to the concept of love - and heartbreak. Apparently I wasn't the only one who liked The Host as evidenced by this comment from one of my friends in England -

Jean-Luc Picard said ... Linda, I've read this book and thought it was unforgettable. Every time I had to put the book down, I couldn't wait to get back to it. It was one of those rare novels in which the reader cared about the characters. Wanderer, Melanie and those around were great. I really enjoyed the ending. After reading the book, I am now savouring the unabridged audio book version.

Hmmm, audio books ... I don't have much of a commute to work and don't really do any sort of distance driving so it wouldn't do me any good to try to listen to an audio book in that capacity but maybe I should figure out how to blog and listen at the same time - imagine the books I could get through then!

On Monday morning I took the time to step away from the blog and get out of the house for a little while and pay A Visit to Mohegan Park, which then became my post for Tuesday! Mohegan Park is one of Norwich's more or less hidden treasures and a good place for someone with a new camera to visit in an attempt to figure out how to use the thing! It was a cold day but the sky was a beautiful blue and I thought I managed to get a few good shots like this one here which shows Spaulding Pond that is in the center of Mohegan Park.

The pictures inspired former Norwich hometown boy, Erik, to leave the following comment:

Erik said ... Great pics Linda!! Having been born and raised in Norwich till I was 12, I've seen how much Mohegan Park has changed over the years. Some of the roads have been moved around, facilities were improved, but one thing I miss from when I was a kid, is the zoo!! I have many memories of hearing the coos and caws of the birds, seeing the other animals, including the monkey hut, and the old firetruck that they had at the playground. If I remember correctly, the firetruck was still there a few years ago when I took Hayleigh there.

I'm not sure whether the firetruck is still there or not, Boukie, but I would be willing to bet it is and I'll be sure to check that out next time I head back over there to take more pictures - which would be a lot sooner if it was to warm up a tiny bit!

Wednesday's post was my entry for Roger's Creative Photography Contest, #15-3 and for this week's entry I chose a picture of dark clouds above with a brightly lit Norwich landscape below. The shot was straight out of the camera with no touching up on my part and it was similar to this picture, though not this exact one ...

Bond said ... Wow ... before reading I had assumed you had darkened the sky ... that is some contrast ... nicely done ... good luck

Ralph said ... An Impressionist painter's take on the impending storm over Norwich. The photo as art. I've got to spend some time in the Rose City. You make it look beautiful!

Thanks guys, and Ralph, you're right, you should come spend some time in the Rose City just as I should go spend some time in Ansonia with you and Patti before the year ends!

Speaking of Patti, she left a great comment on my second post of Wednesday, A Birth Meme Followed by a Birthday!, where I finally got around to doing a great new meme that Jamie developed as well as wished my favorite CrAzY Working Mom a happy 31st birthday ...

Patti said ... I've always gotten along well with Virgos ~ but Capricorns are supposed to get along with fellow Earth signs Virgo and Taurus. "The earth signs indicate practicality, concern with concrete results, and usually an occupation with detailed financial, business and professional affairs." Well alrighty! Happy Birthday to Tisha ~ she is so young, and I feel so old! I saw this meme, looked up my birth date but didn't do a post. My bad.

Now, Patti, make my friend Jamie happy and do a post and then get Ralph to do one, too. I bet it would be interesting and Ralph does have to do that whole NaBloPoMo thing - what better way to take care of one day's post?!?

With just a week until Thanksgiving, on Thursday I did an I've Got a Question - You've Got an Answer post and asked readers "What are you most thankful for this year?" I received some fantastic answers, a few of which I will share with you here ...

WillThink4Wine said ... I am thankful for God and Country, my entire family, all my friends, my beautiful cats, my home and I am very most recently grateful that my new business seems to have gotten off the ground sooner than I expected ... Translation, before I ran out of money! Now if Obama can just send me some of that affordable health insurance and free money ...

Jeni said ... So many things I am thankful for -family, friends, food, faith -for openers. And all the many things that accompany those "Four F's". Good fortune doesn't always mean high finance, just being fortunate to have enough. Sometimes just enough to scrape by, other times enough to splurge a little here and there, but enough to be able to enjoy still being here, able to share the good and the not-so-hot at times too with so many who mean a heck of a lot to me!

carol g said ... Jamie (Duward Discussion) pointed me in this direction ... I am thankful for that (come to think of it, I am thankful for her friendship and wisdom). I surely have enjoyed this blog as well as Jamie's. It has been a very difficult year. I am grateful that my husband's cancer is currently in remission. We married late in life (just celebrated #4), and still hold hands when we fall asleep at night - I am thankful for that love. I am sure I could think of more, but right now this is what comes to the front of the line.

Carol, that's so sweet and if you had a blog of your own, I'd be happy to come over and read; I'm sure that you and your husband have a wonderful love story of your own to tell. Speaking of love stories ...

On Friday I took the easy way out published A Post from the Past so that I could sneak off to the movies to catch the long-awaited release of Twilight, a love story that I was really looking forward to. I mentioned that it was my duty as a mom to pre-screen the movie to keep Amanda from being disappointed but apparently Claire didn't think that was the case and came out of lurking long enough to say so ...

Claire said ..."After all, it could be an absolutely horrible adaptation of the book and it's my duty as a good mom to make the sacrifice to be sure that it's not going to disappoint the girls." What a load of bollocks! Have fun you horny auld vampire loving devil. :)

Now, Claire, how rude! Of course I was performing my parental duties and not just going to drool over the hot teenage vampires who turned out not to be so hot anyway as I wrote about in Saturday's post, "Twilight" Fails to Glimmer for Me.

I think that in the long run, Twilight is going to be a major hit with the fans of the book but alas, perhaps I'm just too old and picky when it comes to translations from the printed page to the big screen. Personally I thought the movie was a bit of a let-down but Cate absolutely loved it and Amanda admitted that "it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be" though they both agreed with me that the character of Bella was awful. I guess I was just bummed that the love story that was told so well in the book, wasn't told so well by the actors ... Apparently I'm not the only one who often finds a book-to-movie disappointing ...

Lois Grebowski said ... I'm trying to remember the last time a movie was better than the book ... Can't remember. Hubby can't either ... Sorry you were disappointed.

Queen-Size funny bone said ... Books although they give you the story, you can still interpret them yourself visually in your mind. when you see a movie you can't do that because its THEIR vision not yours. kinda like do you see what i see?

Now that I think about it,though, the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice was actually quite good and did the book credit - especially in the casting of Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. Rowrrrr ... Oh sorry ... that was me being shallow ... Ahem, anyway, I would have to say that sometimes the movie is a little bit better than the book - just not too often and just definitely not in the case of Twilight. Which is too bad, because I really, really wanted it to be really, really good. And it wasn't ...

Oh, and one thing I hadn't thought of was brought up by Last Minute Lynn who very practically stated ...

Last Minute Lyn said ... As much as movies cost these days it really sucks when you think it was a waste of money. It's especially painful when it doesn't live up to the book.

True, Lyn, true - it most definitely sucks when it takes a bite out of your wallet and the vampires weren't what you hoped they'd be! Oh well, I'm hoping for a better production in the sequel which Summit Entertainment is already planning on. One can dream, right?!?

So, that's it for this week's Comments on Comments ... please stop in again sometime during the next week and drop me a comment or two then be sure to come back next Sunday to see if you've made the weekly wrap-up. Everyone have a fantastic Sunday!

"Twilight" Fails to Glimmer For Me

So ... had I been in need of a reminder that I am 50 and not 15, going to see Twilight at the movies yesterday provided me with one. I guess it should go to figure that a vampire movie would ultimately suck but I've got to admit to being disappointed that it did. Were I a tween or a fan-girl, though, perhaps the bite of disappointment might not have been so bad.

I was late getting into all of the hype and hysteria of Stephenie Meyer's teenage vampire romance saga but upon the urging of the teenage girls in my life, I recently read the entire four-book series from cover to cover and, like millions of girls and their moms across the country, became quite enamored of Edward Cullen - the perfect man except for the fact that he's one of the undead. A minor detail, though, and easily forgivable when it comes to Edward; as a matter of fact, immortality makes him even more appealing in some strange and supernatural way.

After reading the books and falling in love with the whole love story (though there are times when I really wanted to strangle a couple of the characters), I was really looking forward to the film adaptation even though common sense and past history warned me that there was the very real possibility of the movie being bad. After all, how many Stephen King books have been wonderful reads and yet complete and total bombs at the box office? Yeah ... I rest my case.

Sadly, history has once again managed to repeat itself and the curse of Stephen King has apparently been passed on to Stephenie Meyer. Maybe it's that whole "Stephen ..." thing? Whatever it may be, it's just very, very sad that a movie that had such potential ended up being a complete and total let-down. At least for me.

I guess it's pretty hard to take a 500-page book and condense it into a 122-minute movie without combining scenes, cutting scenes, or adding in scenes that never occurred in the book; all of which Twilight is guilty of. When you're only about ten minutes into a movie and thinking "hey, hold on - that's not right" or "that never happened" or "wait a minute, that didn't occur until halfway through the book" then you know you're in trouble of actually liking the film. I kept thinking that maybe it would have been better to have not read the book prior to seeing the movie but then it dawned on me that if I hadn't read the book, I would be even more confused than I was having read all of the books.

A 15-year old would probably see it differently but the chemistry that existed between Bella and Edward in the book just wasn't there on the screen; Bella was even more annoying in the movie than she was in the book; and Edward ...ah, Edward, I hardly knew ye! Instead of being the perfect man that he was on the printed page, Edward on the big screen was just another brooding teenager with pale skin, too much hair gel, and a striking resemblance to the chicks in the Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love" video.

The saddest thing, though, is that I really wanted this movie to be good; I really wanted it to live up to all of the hype; I really wanted it to be a movie that I would want to see over and over again; and I really wanted to see the beautiful love story between Bella and Edward come to life off of the pages and onto the screen. I love a good love story that makes me smile, makes me cry, makes me believe in the hope and power of true love. Twilight the book was a good love story that did all that - Twilight the movie was a lacking love story that didn't.

Amanda and Cate will be going to check out the movie themselves sometime this weekend and I'll be interested in hearing what their take on it is. I told Amanda that she should draw her own conclusions and not base them on my opinion of the movie but apparently a lot of her friends at school have the same opinion of the film that I do so she's quite skeptical that she's going to like it herself. Perhaps, though, she'll come home and tell me that I'm nuts and that it was great and how could I say all these awful things? After all, how often do teenagers agree with their parents?

Oh well, maybe the sequel will have a bigger budget and a better script ... there are, after all, three more books in the series and with the way the movie ended, there has to be a sequel as even though I found the movie to be sorely lacking and a let-down, millions of tweens won't think so and will make sure that Edward continues to live on.

"Twilight" Calling

Due to a shift swap with one of my co-workers I only had to work until 3:00 p.m. yesterday so it was my intent to go out and take some pictures of the leaves that are just starting to turn so that I could participate in this week's Manic Monday Meme theme of "Leaf". However, the weather didn't want to cooperate and clear up like the forecasters said it would so instead I came home from work and curled up in bed with the book that Amanda's friend Cate had given me to read - Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

If you're a teenage girl - or know one - you've probably heard of this book which is the first of the four books in the Twilight Saga, currently some of the most popular books written for young adults with sales exceeding 50 million copies worldwide since Twilight debuted in 2004 and over 7.7 million copies sold in the U.S. alone. Twilight is being released as a major motion picture on November 21st and both Amanda and Cate have promised to drag me off to the movie when it comes out.

Beyond knowing that the book is about a teenage girl who falls in love with a teenage vampire and that Robert Pattinson, who is best known for his portrayal of Cedric Diggory in the fourth installment of the Harry Potter movie series, plays the role of Edward Cullen (rrowr!) in the movie, I didn't know much about it at all. Well, unless you count the fact that Amanda, Cate, and Darci all loved the books and can't wait for the movie to come out.

I've been trying to get back into doing more reading so I figured what the heck, I'd read the book before the movie came out to find out what all the fuss was about. Cate gave me the book Saturday afternoon around 3:00 and I had it finished by Sunday evening - the fastest I've read a book in a long time! Now I'm anxiously awaiting Darci's arrival on Wednesday with book #2, New Moon, as I can't get it at the library due to the long waiting list and it's the one book in the series that Cate doesn't have. Dang! Darci, however, does have it and is bringing it with her on the train when she comes up to visit Amanda this weekend.

Even though Twilight is targeted towards teenagers/young adults and the writing isn't as sophisticated as some other books I've read, I really enjoyed the story in spite of the fact that I was none too enchanted with the book's female lead character - Bella. There's just something about her that gets on my nerves and makes me want to reach through the pages and strangle her but Amanda assures me that's a common feeling amongst readers! She warned me that Bella will get on my nerves even more in the second book but I'm willing to risk it as I'd like to see where this saga is going and whether or not Bella can ever talk Edward into turning into a vampire so that she can be with him forever. None of the girls have spoiled it for me and have promised that they won't!

As for the movie, I'm going to guess that like all books turned into movies it isn't exactly going to follow the story as well as it should and there will be lots of embellishing along the way but what I've seen of the trailer has intrigued me so far and I'm looking forward to taking the girls to go see it - or are the girls taking me? Either way, I admit to loving a good romance story and if the movie by any chance has a good soundtrack - all the better! The only thing I know about that so far is that the band Paramore has two songs on it and there's another by Muse, a band whose song "Knights of Cydonia" kills my hand on Guitar Hero III but who is a favorite of the author.

I don't know, maybe it's because I've been out of the dating scene for a very long time now but would someone please tell me that I'm not the only 50-year old who thinks that vampires are sexy! And where's Darci with that second book?!?

Oh, and the trailer gives a release date of 12/12 but it was advanced to 11/21 just so's ya know!