"It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times" - Yep, That's February!

Well, I've been back from Florida for over a week now and we still have snow outside which is highly disappointing as I gave explicit instructions for it all to be gone by the time I returned from Orlando! Perhaps I didn't say it loud enough as it's threatening to snow yet again tonight.  Enough already!

At least I've got some warm memories of my trip south two weeks ago which included a meet-up with the on-her-way-to-svelte Barb in Saint Augustine where the weather was absolutely gorgeous! It was great to see Barb again even though it was a quick visit before she had to make her way back to Georgia and Morgen and I went in search of spiral staircases.

We found our first batch of stairs - all 219 of them - at the Saint Augustine Lighthouse and Museum which, with a tower that's 165 feet tall, is a pretty good hike but we took our time and made it to the top for some absolutely gorgeous views of the area.

Normally I'm not keen on having my photo taken but I figured that climbing all the way to the top of my very first lighthouse was an auspicious enough occasion to have a photo snapped for posterity.

After climbing back down those same 219 stairs and touring the rest of the museum and grounds, we made our way south in need of some lunch after working up a good appetite and then followed that up with a nice stroll along the beach.  The photo below is Crescent Beach which is a very, very wide expanse of sand!  It was an absolutely gorgeous day to be there and I wish we'd had more time to spend but there were more spiral staircases calling our name further down the road in Ponce de Leon Inlet.

On our way there we passed this guy who seemed to be having a good time advertising Mulligan's.  Hey, these days a job is a job so good for him for being enthusiastic about his! 

Arriving at Ponce de Leon Inlet Lighthouse - Florida's tallest at 175 feet - we knew that this one was going to be even more of a challenge than Saint Augustine was as even though there are only 203 steps, they are much steeper and narrower. But Morgen and I were there to climb to the top so climb it we did !

It's a little hard to really get a good view of the stairs from this angle but this was taken from almost the top looking back down.  The higher we went, the narrower and steeper the stairways got but again, we took our time and managed to make it to the top of the tower without being too out of breath!

Again I decided to forego that whole wrong-side-of-the-camera-lens thing and have my photo snapped while out on the balcony. It was a lot breezier there than it was in Saint Augustine and, with a narrower balcony deck, it was a lot skeerier, too! But again the views of the surrounding area were more than worth it as well as the chance to say, "I did it, I did it!"

Back on solid ground again once we had navigated the very steep stairs which were trickier going down than they were up, we had just enough time to check out the Fresnel Lens Exhibit before it was closing time.  I have to say that I was in Fresnel Lens Heaven seeing that 16-1/2-foot tall First Order lens in person!  What a magnificent piece of craftsmanship!

After our big day of climbing not one but two very tall lighthouses, Morgen and I took it easy on Wednesday and went to go see "Lincoln" at the local movie theater. I hadn't had a chance to see it yet and was so glad that Morgen didn't mind going to it again as I thought it was very well done.  We finished up our night with appetizers and dessert at The Cheesecake Factory which was quite delicious and a real treat!

On Thursday, even though the forecast was threatening rain, we went to Universal Studios Islands of Adventure where I had a great time getting turned every which way but loose on several rollercoasters, became totally drenched on the Jurassic Park Adventure Ride, and had a chance to glomp onto Iron Man a little bit! Our last ride of the day was a spin on the Caro-Seuss-el because I just can't pass up a carousel - even if there's nary a horse to be found!

Unfortunately my time in Orlando seemed to fly by and all too soon it was time to come back to Connecticut and the realities of February which has included more snow, temperatures that are way too darned cold, and  all the other the things that make February a rather sad month for me like the one-year anniversary of my good friend Cyndi's passing on the 17th and the ten-year anniversary of my father's death which is coming up tomorrow.  I'm having trouble believing that it's been that long for either of them.

Cyndi and I at Lake Tahoe in April of 1997

Dad and one of his radio-controlled models that he built

Then, as if February couldn't be sad enough, last Saturday evening one of Morgen and Eyad's beloved fur-kids - Peter Pete - threw a blood clot and passed away the following morning following emergency treatment that could only ease his suffering and not prolong his life. I was happy to have had the chance to meet the little fella before his untimely death but that just made it all the more heartbreaking as Pete had rather reminded me a bit of Tesla and I quite enjoyed watching his interactions with Little Isis.  Morgen and Eyad are both still hurting very badly from this sudden loss so if you've got a moment, please send them a good thought or two.  For my money, I've got no doubt that Peter Pete has found his way to Cyndi as she was quite the cat magnet and he'll be well looked after in heaven but I know the guys would rather have him home with them.

Photo Credit:  Morgen's Facebook Page

Finally, to end this post on an up-note, today I launched my very own photography website where I hope to maybe occasionally sell a print or two - hopefully at least enough to cover the nominal monthly hosting fee!  LOrlomoskiPhotography.com was designed by Eyad and I think that he did a phenomenal job!  It's very user-friendly for any potential customers and it's also easy for me to upload new photos and keep the content fresh.  Until March 3rd, I'm offering a coupon good for 20% off the entire purchase which includes free shipping in the United States - not a bad deal if I say so myself!  Should you find yourself over there and want to help a poor starving artist out (or at least help finance my next batch of wanderings!) use coupon code TAKE20OFF and I'll do just that!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to wishing that this month - and winter - was over already as I try desperately to get my hands warm enough so that I don't have to wear finger-less gloves well working on the computer!  I hope that your February has been good to you! 

Goodbye Cold Weather, Hello Warm!

Hmmm ... last year at this time I was out in California visiting my good friend Cyndi for what, most sadly, turned out to be the last time ever as she passed away shortly after I came home. This time, I'm going to Orlando to visit Morgen with the hopes that it won't be the last time I go to visit a friend in a sunny climate during the worst of winter.

And boy howdy did we get the worst of winter the other day when Storm Nemo decided to make its way into New England! In spite of all the references to Disney's Finding Nemo, the storm was actually named for Captain Nemo, also known as Prince Dakkar, a fictional character invented by the French science fiction author Jules Verne who appears in two of Verne's novels; Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (1870) and The Mysterious Island (1874).

The character of Captain Nemo is what's considered an antihero who simply roams the depths of the seas in his submarine, the Nautilus, and personally I would have preferred he remain doing just that rather than coming to the surface and landing in our backyards where in Norwich, Nemo deposited about 25 inches of snow.  Ugh.

Granted, it was quite pretty in places when all was said and done but dang, was it ever a bear to shovel and some folks still aren't dug out.  Needless to say, road crews have been overwhelmed and it's been a real mess but alas, 'tis New England in the winter and sometimes these things happen.

Of course, I would have been happier had it happened after I got on my flight to Orlando so I could have missed all of this but no such luck. The storm actually ended up pushing my flight back a day so rather than winging my way to sunny Florida last evening, I'll be leaving tonight instead.  In about three-and-a-half hours as a matter of fact!

I was going to leave my Nikon home this trip and just use my iPhone for a few photos here and there but when Morgen made mention of the fact that there were a couple of pretty cool lighthouses not too far from his home, that plan went right out the window.  Tomorrow we'll be driving up to Saint Augustine to spend the night there and as an added bonus we'll be meeting my friends from Massachusetts, Walt and Juli, for lunch at The Floridian before they catch their delayed-flight back to Boston.

As an added, added bonus - Barb is going to drive down from Valdosta and not just join us for lunch but she's booked the room next to ours at the Casablanca Inn On the Bay and will be spending the night also!  I predict there will be some wine-drinking on our balconies and lots of laughter to go along with it!

I've got to say that it's pretty darned cool that I get the chance to visit a friend and add in even more friends while enjoying some warmer weather all at the same time.  You can't beat that with a stick or - as the case has been the past few days - a snow shovel!

Hopefully by the time I get home on Friday, all of that up there will be gone or at least reduced to a more manageable level!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish packing and then I am outta here!  Oh ... and don't let me forget some sunscreen! 

Thursday Thoughts & Things

First and foremost, a very happy 19th birthday to my baby who is up in Ontario and - as best I can tell - planning on staying there as long as she possibly can.  This is the second year in a row that Jamie hasn't been around for her birthday as she was up in Manitoba last year for her 18th and I missed her last year just as I'll miss her again this year. I'm not going to lie - even though I do miss her and wish she were home, I don't miss the constant arguing that she and Amanda seemed to want to engage in.  It would have been great if Jamie had been home for her birthday but she's technically an adult now and can make her own decision on where she wants to live.  Not that I ever thought it would be Canada though!  Anyhow, I'm hoping to take a trip up that way to see her soon and to bring her a few of her things and hopefully we'll be able to celebrate her birthday then - belatedly but better late than never!  In the meantime Jamie - happy birthday!  I hope you do something special for you today and have cake - ya gotta have cake on your birthday!

Secondly, yesterday marked the 6th anniversary of my blog which for some reason, I thought was the 5th anniversary!  Just goes to show how much attention I've been paying to this particular blog lately!  I've been a little swamped (overwhelmed?) with trying to keep up with "Travels With Nathaniel" and occasionally tossing something new up at "The Distracted Wanderer" in between work and everything else so this blog has sort of taken a backseat lately.  That's not to say that I don't think about posting over here - I just never seem to get the time!  Hand-in-hand with that is visiting other blogs as lately there just do not seem to be enough hours in the day!  Trust me, I do miss all of you and try to get around at least once a week but some weeks are gone before I even know it so please forgive me if I am absent more than I'm present.

A quick side note on this blog, I have decided to start doing the occasional paid post again as an offer was made and it was quite reasonable and a little extra money for wandering never hurts. Please feel free to ignore those posts, it will probably be quite easy to see which ones are the paid ones as they are going to be for travel destinations that I've probably never even heard of - never mind been to!  Unless of course I post about someplace you've been to - in that case, feel free to chime in!

Finally, in spite of all that's been going on lately - and it's been a lot it seems - Cyndi has been uppermost in my mind quite a bit.  I seem to be having more times when I get the urge to call her than before and every time I realize that she's no longer there, it still comes back and hits me upside the heart a little bit.  I was having coffee at work the other day out of my beloved Cancun coffee cup that she got me and out of nowhere I found I had a big ol' lump in my throat. Then today, while driving back from dropping Amanda at a friend's house in Quincy, Massachusetts yesterday evening I had lots of time to think and sure enough, Cyndi was there in the forefront of those thoughts.

I'd like to think that maybe she's up there watching over me a little bit though if I know her and the Mama Bear that she always was, she's up there watching over Daniel like a hawk (after all, that was her last name!) and making sure that they're treating him right at the home he's in.  I suspect she takes the occasional side glance to see how Angela is doing but as Angela received her Doctorate in History before Cyndi died, I'm pretty sure she's not too worried about her daughter who has always had a really good head on her shoulders. She most definitely took after her Mom!

Anyhow, with all of that thinking about my old friend and missing the heck out of her, it really came as no surprise that when I went back to look at my very first post on this blog, there was a comment from her.  Cyndi didn't comment often but when she did, it was always a gift and I'm so glad that I've got those little gifts scattered here and there throughout the last six years of writing.  I just so wish I had been able to talk her into her own blog but alas, she always felt like she never had anything all that important to say.  Well heck, it never stopped me!  

A happy Thursday to all! 

Where There is Sadness ... Joy

So ... it's been a week since my best friend of 25+ years departed this earthly life (though in my heart I know that she left us on February 14th when she went into cardiac arrest and not on the 16th when her family had to make the very painful decision to shut off life support) and my emotions have naturally been yo-yo'ing all week.  Up. Down.  Around the corner.  Around the world.

Sometimes I look at the cardiac arrest as a blessing that Cyndi didn't have to go through the worst that ALS was going to throw at her.  Sometimes I look at the cardiac arrest as a stinking thief that robbed me of time that I still had with my friend.  And sometimes, well, sometimes I just stop trying to reason things out and just cry.

It hasn't all been tears though, there have been a lot of smiles and joyful memories.  My cousin Amy - ever the organized librarian - searched through some of her photos and found a few from a trip that we took out to California back in 1997 (one of the few times I was able to talk her into getting on a plane and flying west with me). After flying into San Francisco, Amy stayed to visit with her friend Vanessa while I continued on to Stockton to visit with Cyndi but the four of us got together to take a trip up to Lake Tahoe while we were there and thank goodness someone thought to take some pictures. Believe it or not, I didn't have a camera in my hands all the time back then!

See?  My hands are empty!  The pictures are copies of copies so the quality isn't the best in the world but that's okay, they're pictures of Cyndi and we were in our favorite place together and that's all that matters.

I've also spent some time searching through this blog and finding posts that were about Cyndi and I'm happy that there are several to be found as reading them brings her back to life for me even for just a little while.  I'm not going to drag all of them out but there were two that stood out for two very different reasons.  The first was written on October 26th, 2006 and not only was the post about Cyndi but she actually left several comments on it which was highly unusual!

"We do not remember days; we remember moments." ~ Cesare Pavese

The second post is even more special simply because of the response that it received.  I wrote it on August 13th, 2007 when Cyndi was going through a really hard time with putting her autistic youngest son into a specialized home. I wrote the post to ask folks to go by Cyndi's blog and leave her a message of support and encouragement and I have to say, the response was happily overwhelming as thirty people went over and left her a comment.

The Things We Do For Love ...

I had always told Cyndi that people in the Blogosphere were the best and they sure didn't let me down.  Re-reading those comments brought both a smile to my face and a tear to my eye as even though I've lost touch with some of them, thirty people took the time to go say a word of concern to my friend - to a woman they had never met and never would. That spoke volumes as it just went to show that Cyndi was so special that others were willing to take a few moments for her - something I always knew but something that others apparently thought also.

Truthfully I was afraid that somewhere along the lines Cyndi might have deleted her blog or made it private as she never was ever really able to get into blogging for one reason or another but thankfully it's still there and I hope that it always will be as it gives me a little piece of her.  Had I ever been able to talk her into actually blogging it would have given me a bigger piece of her but heck, I'll take what I can get!

Speaking of getting things, I had my once-a-month lunch with my friend Rhonda yesterday and being the kind-hearted soul that she is, she gave me a bouquet of flowers in remembrance of Cyndi.  I'm blessed to have a friend like Rhonda just as I was blessed to have a friend like Cyndi and am blessed with the friends I have made through this thing we all like to call the Blogosphere.

Thank you all for the support and encouragement that you have given to me during this difficult time, it honestly has meant the world to me. There truly can be joy - and beauty - in the midst of sadness.

"I Always Thought I'd See You Again" ~ James Taylor

I went to bed last night feeling somewhat sad with this song winding its way through my head as even though I went to California believing that it was going to be my last trip there, after visiting with Cyndi and seeing the improvements that she had made in being able to speak again and her positive attitude of getting better and getting home even with the ventilator in tow, I thought there might actually be time to see her again before the ALS got even worse. When I left I told her that I would be back if I could and heck, I even went ahead and bought another plane ticket for April as the price was too good to pass up and I thought for sure she'd still be around then.

The universe apparently had other plans though and never being very good at gambling, buying that plane ticket was one that I took and lost and I'm now in possession of a ticket that I really don't want to use as going back to California this soon would probably be a bit too painful.  So, I'll hang on to it and try to find something to do with it during the next year before the credit expires but if I don't, well, that's okay I guess and I'll just chalk it up to the faith that I had that Cyndi would still be there.

After all, you've got to have faith, right?

Reaching Back to 2006 and a Guest Post

Once upon a time, when this blog was still fairly young, my friend Cyndi wrote a guest post for me; for those of you who weren't around back then I thought I'd share it and by doing so, share some of my friend with you. I think that in reading this, you'll be able to get a glimpse into why it was that I loved her so and always will.  I just wish I had been successful in convincing her to write her own blog but she thought she was too wordy ... ha! Like that ever stopped me!

Thursday, September 26th, 2006

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." ~ Albert Einstein

I'm annoyed by people who mangle the quotations of others in an effort to communicate their own ideas.

With the mea culpa tidily handled, I say: It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our sanity--or at least MY sanity.

O.K., you got me. Linda would never resort to such a cheesy lead-in. I confess, I am a guest; guest blogger, that is. I'm Cyndi, Linda's friend, alter-ego, former dispatch partner and part-time conscience, in no particular order. Linda is taking a well-deserved day off. She has kindly allowed me to achieve my 15 seconds of fame via today's post, and for good reason. It is, after all, my sanity that is challenged, but for a change it was not one of my own three kids who sent me plunging down the abyss.

Nope; this time it was Linda's dear Amanda who gave me the hearty shove.

Mind you, most of the time I adore Amanda. She's a great kid. We share certain traits; sensitivity, a love of various arts, a flair for multitasking, and California birth certificates (I had to throw that last bit in just for Amanda. Yo Cali-girl!).

Yep, Amanda's a great kid who somehow felt it perfectly reasonable to tap into my conversation with her mother this afternoon to let us both know that she absolutely had to have the telephone line cleared right away because she had to make a call of her own.

So far, no big deal, right? Sure, Linda and I live some 3,000 miles apart and converse only a couple of times a month, but we were barely in the midst of invoking world peace or ending the threat of global warming when said interruption occurred. Granted, my 14th birthday passed sometime around the time Cleopatra was batting her lashes at Marc Anthony; still, I can vaguely summon that feeling of urgency that drives adolescent talk fests. Finally, it hasn't been all that long ago that my own daughter passed through the age in which a five minute delay in making a phone call feels more like five years of agony.

Given all of this, I thought Linda's response was quite generous, mom-wise: She offered Amanda use of her cell phone to place her call. And Amanda said ... no. Nope. No thanks; only the landline phone would do, because she needed to place a three-way call, and apparently this was not possible on Linda's cell phone.

What I said at this point is ... well ... probably best not repeated here.

Mind you, Ms. Amanda already had possession of the family computer at this point, yet she wanted the PHONE too? For a conference call?

I hereby nominate Linda for Mother of the Year for ever so calmly suggesting that we hang up so she could call me back on her cell phone. Problem solved; so why does the whole thing still stick in my craw hours later?

Answering machines, Call Waiting, conference calls, email, IM's, blogs, Cell phone, texting, Blackberry/PDA, Pager (yup, some of us still carry those along with the rest of the stuff). My purse runneth over, but I don't feel any more in touch than I did before most of this stuff was available.

So I ask you, gentle readers: Am I the only one who thinks that the whole communication thing is getting out of hand? What would Einstein do?

Personally, I'm in favor of leaving the electronic gear in the hands of the teens (or the cats) and heading for a secluded beach; margarita in one hand and a good book in the other.

See y'all there!

Note from Linda: Thank you, Cyndi! I appreciate you filling in for me as I never would have gotten to the computer before 10:00 p.m. last night as Amanda had it tied up so she could work on her Naruto AMV while IM'ing her friends and still making that three-way call of hers. At least she has inherited my outstanding multi-tasking abilities! Oh, and thanks for the nomination for Mother of the Year though we both know I'd have a snowball's chance in a very warm place of actually winning it - were there such a thing!

A Final Song for Cyndi

Last night at 8:22 p.m. I received a text message from Angela:

"Linda, we will be disconnecting mom's life support tonight. The doctor was very clear that she would not awaken. We think it's what mom would want. I would call but it's just too difficult."

I told her that I understood completely and to give her mom a kiss goodbye for me and tell her that I love her. Angela texted back and said that she would.

I'm still trying to process the fact that Cyndi's gone; that it was just one week ago that I was talking to her and laughing with her; that I was buying her "walnuts with seatbelts" from See's Chocolates and picking out a "Grandma duster" for her to wear instead of a hospital gown. When I left her to head back to Connecticut she was happily getting ready to have a shower and put on her new mint green robe with snaps down the front so that she could put it on easily in spite of the ventilator tube in her throat. After giving her a hug, I walked towards the door to leave and the very last thing she said to me was "I love you"; thank God I had the chance to tell her that I loved her too.

I keep waiting for her to tap me on the shoulder and tell me that "it just ain't right" or to suck it up and stop crying but that hasn't happened yet. Maybe she's too busy going through the initiation process in heaven and will get to me later ... I can only hope. And hope I will.

Rest in peace my dear, dear friend and know that you meant the world to me; I shall never ever forget you and will carry your memory in my heart forever. You were the best.

An Update and a Prayer Request

As I sit here looking out the window of my room on the sixth floor of the Hawthorne Hotel in Salem and try to digest the news that I just got from California, I can only think that at least I'm in a place that makes me happy as I feel sadder than I have felt in a very, very long time.

A little bit ago I spoke to Cyndi's daughter Angela and received the news that Cyndi has been in a coma for the past two days and the family now has to make the painful decision as to whether or not to turn off the ventilator that has been breathing for her for the past month or hold out hope that maybe - just maybe - her brain will come back to life.

Apparently Cyndi went into cardiac arrest this past Tuesday night following what they think may have been a blockage of some sort in her lungs.  It's not known exactly how long she was without oxygen but after being given CPR for 5-6 minutes they were able to get her heart started again.  However, due to the lack of oxygen, it appears that she has suffered a lot of brain damage and has not had any noticeable brain activity since they revived her.  Angela said that the doctors told her that generally speaking, the first 48 hours following such an event are pretty much the determining factor as to whether or not she'll regain any brain activity and - as much as I hate to say it - it doesn't look like there has been any nor will there be any.

Cyndi was pretty emphatic about wanting to stay alive as long as her mind was functioning - one of the few things that ALS doesn't touch so she was quite cognizant of the fact that the rest of her body was giving out on her - but she also was quite adamant about not wanting to be kept alive if her mind was gone. Angela said that they had talked about it quite extensively (and Cyndi being Cyndi, I've got no doubt she covered all of her bases when it came to that sort of thing) so she knows what her Mom would want done if she is, as feared, brain-dead.  She would want them to shut off the ventilator and let her go releasing her from the prison that her body has become.

As I look at the church steeple in front of me, I am reminded that Cyndi always had a lot of faith and firmly believed that there's more to it than just the life that we live here on earth so I've got no doubt that she would want to "get to it" and begin the adventure that awaits her on the other side. She wouldn't want to be hooked up to machines that kept her alive when her brain was gone and she could no longer think for herself and she wouldn't want to be a burden to those who loved her either.

That said, I wasn't quite ready to say a final good-bye yet and even though I knew this was coming, I didn't think it was coming this fast.  Angela said that she'll keep me posted as to what decision the family makes but at this point, I'm afraid it's probably all over except for the legalities.

Except for the final pronouncement by a doctor with time of death, my friend is gone and my heart is broken though I am very, very thankful that I got out to see her when I did.  I know that all things happen for a reason, I've believed that for as long as I can remember, and I know that people oftentimes don't get the chance to say good-bye or explain to someone how much they've meant to them in their lives so I should count myself lucky that I did have that chance and that I did have a friend like Cyndi in my life but I've got to tell you, right now I'm not feeling very lucky at all.  Except maybe for the fact that I'm in Salem and I can cry in peace as I mourn the loss of a part of me.

If you're the type that offers up prayers, I would appreciate a few for Jeff, Cyndi's husband, and her children Angela and Ronnie as they make the tough decisions out there in California.  I'm sure they'd appreciate it, too.

Trying Not to Be Sad But Failing Somewhat Miserably

I've been looking at the computer screen for awhile now trying to think of how to write about the main reason that I flew 3,000 miles out to California last week during a month when the weather is about as unpredictable as it comes and have finally decided that I'm not quite sure how to write about my friend of 25 years who is quite obviously dying but doing it in her own inimitable style. I'm going to try though as writing is cathartic and I could use some of that right now.

I knew that going out to Stockton to see Cyndi was going to be tough but I also knew that it was something that I was not willing to not do.  There was just no way that I was not going to take the opportunity to visit the person who probably knows me best in this life, the person I could always turn to no matter what, the person who always knew what to say and how best to say it, and the person who loved and supported me during some of the stupidest - and hardest - moments of my life.  "Tough" be damned, this visit was important - for both of us.

"Tough" might not be the best way to describe it, though. "Heart-rending" might actually be a better description as that's exactly what it is when you walk into a hospital room in the Respiratory Intensive Care Unit and see someone that you dearly love hooked up to more gadgets and gizmos than you'll find in most Best Buy showrooms.  To see your best buddy lying there in the middle of all those whirring, clacking, buzzing machines with the plastic tubing and bags of dripping fluids and charts and bottles and all manner of medical paraphernalia, looking twenty years older and pale as a ghost against the hospital sheets is difficult - darned difficult - as that's when it really hits you that time is winding down; that Death is coming long before you ever thought possible riding that pale horse found in Revelation 6:7-8; and that there's not a damned thing that you can do about it except accept it and hope that he's not coming at a fast gallop but instead maybe taking a slower trot towards his final destination.  And it hurts.

When I first walked into Cyndi's room at Saint Joseph's Hospital last Tuesday and took in that scene before me, it finally fully dawned on me that there were never going to be any more drives up to Lake Tahoe to park on a spot on high looking over the lake and reveling in the beauty that God had wrought, no more trips to the cemetery that I could see from her hospital window to sit on the grass near Timmy's grave and chat with a fallen friend as we reminisced about days gone by at the Stockton Police Department, no more dinners or lunches at our favorite Mexican restaurant in downtown Stockton where we no doubt ate too much but enjoyed every bite of it, no more impromptu trips to San Francisco or the wine country or the foothills of the Sierra Nevadas, no more late-night phone calls that would last for hours with topics that ranged from the Armed Forces to how many cats did she own now to our families and their trials and tribulations to politics and how she wanted that vote she had wasted on Obama back to the possibility of past lives and how we surely must have known each other then to be such good friends in this life to everything in between, and never would there ever be that long-promised return trip to the East Coast and the chance to visit Gettysburg together - something that we had often talked about.

The reality of the situation is that my friend is being robbed of her life by amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, a disease of the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that control voluntary muscle movements.  Cyndi is now tethered to this life simply by the tubing that runs from the ventilator next to her bed into her throat and provides her the air that keeps her alive; life-sustaining air that the secretions that build up in her throat won't allow her to take in by normal means anymore. She's dying - she knows it and I know it and there was pretty much no getting around that fact as I held her hand and felt the paper thinness of her skin - skin that reminded me of my 92-year old grandmother but which encased the muscles and bones of a beloved friend who is only 58.

Fortunately, Cyndi had regained her ability to speak by the time I was able to get out to see her and she did a pretty good job communicating with me, though at times it was hard to understand her and she quite frequently had to stop in mid-sentence to try to get her throat muscles to work well enough to form the words she wanted to say.  Ever the resourceful one, she had a back-up system should her voice fail - next to her was mounted an iPad2 with a text-to-talk program ready to go if talking became too difficult but luckily we never had to resort to that.  Considering that typing isn't all that easy either with the muscle weakness and contractures in her hands, I was glad we didn't have to go that route.  Besides, it's hard to convey that patented Cyndi sarcasm via typed word!

No stranger to adversity in her life, Cyndi is handling this latest lousy turn of events with the same aplomb that I've seen her use in many a difficult situation and she's not shying away from the cold hard facts of the matter.  We discussed her final wishes (no funeral but a BBQ would be nice, cremation is the way she wants to go with her ashes being spread at some of her designated favorite places) and her biggest worry - which is that her husband of 35 years won't be too lonely and become a hermit or worse when she's gone. We talked about some of our good times and some of our bad times and how our friendship was special in that it had not only stood the test of time and distance but that it had grown stronger over the years rather than faded away like so many friendships do.  We talked about the fact that I'm perfectly happy being single and no, she wasn't going to get her dying wish that I meet someone who loved me as much as I loved him even if she tried to play the "but I'm dying card!"

She told me that she'd had a good long life (I said I failed to see how 58 qualified as being long) and that she had gotten to see and do a lot of things that she had wanted to do in life; she said that it could have been worse, she could have lived during a time when you had to go to the river and pound your clothes with rocks to clean them or where there was no Pepsi (she's been a Pepsi addict for as long as I've known her).  We talked about the people on her list she had all intentions of coming back to haunt or at least giving a cosmic kick to and we talked about the people she'd meet in heaven.

And she told me not to be sad that she was dying.

Well ... that's something that I can't do and I told her as much in between trying not to cry (and in turn making the nurse who had come in at that time to give her a breathing treatment cry also).  I told her that if there was ever a time to be sad about something that this was it and I was going to by-golly be sad whether she liked it or not.  She finally acquiesced and said that okay, I could be sad but just a little and not for long but to be honest, I'm having some trouble with that.

Anyhow, more later as I'm quite violating Cyndi's edict not to be sad right here in this very post where I've pretty much decided that whole 'not being sad thing' is going to take me a long time to master - if I ever do at all.

Five on Friday - The (Nothing-to-Do-With-George-Orwell) 1984 Version

Every time I go back to Stockton I travel into my past and this trip is certainly no exception as my purpose of this journey was to visit my good friend Cyndi whom I firstmet when we were both employed by the City of Stockton as Emergency Telecommunicators at the Police Department.  Cyndi and I met during one of my training sessions in the Comm Center and from that first Friday night on it was like we had known each other for all of our lives.  Matter of fact, most people were surprised to find out that we had just met and hadn't known each other previously!  Some friends are just like that, though and they are truly blessings from above.

As Cyndi and I first met back in 1984, I thought I'd pick five songs from that year for this week's version of Five on Friday which is presented by Travis of Trav's Thoughts and which you could certainly join in on if you had five songs on a Friday that you wanted to share!

Oh, and just as an FYI for those who may not have seen it before, that last video is mine, mine, all mine!  I needed a video to use for "Thriller" and that one brings back happy memories of my time at the Asbury Park Zombie Walk wandering amid the shambling undead!

'Cause I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane ...

As the song goes, "All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go ... " so it's just a matter of tossing my laptop in, loading everything in the car, and heading up to Boston to begin this most bittersweet of journeys to the West Coast.

So ... let's get to it then, shall we?  California here I come.

I'll Be Westward Bound Sooner Rather than Later It Seems

For the past week or so I've had a feeling of dread - like something was just not right in the universe.  Since before Christmas I had been trying off and on to get in touch with my friend Cyndi out in California but hadn't had any success. I'd reach her husband who would let me know that she was sleeping but he'd tell her I called or I'd get their answering machine with the request to leave a message at the tone - which I did.

Unfortunately the feeling persisted that something wasn't right but I was still getting nowhere via telephone so I sent a message to Cyndi's daughter on Facebook who messaged me back this morning to tell me that her mom had been having trouble breathing due to the secretions building up in her throat from the ALS and they'd had to have a tracheotomy done yesterday so that she could be put on a ventilator.  Her daughter assures me that the surgery went well and that Cyndi is now breathing fine but for her to have to be on a ventilator is anything but good.  It means that the damned disease that is robbing her of her life is progressing a lot quicker than was hoped.

I still have a lot of unanswered questions as to Cyndi's prognosis but what I don't have is the willingness to sit back and see how much better or worse things are going to get before I fly out to California to visit her.  To be honest, I don't know how much time she has which means I don't know how much time I have to go out and visit the woman who has been my closest friend since I first met her in a dispatch center at the Stockton Police Department in 1984.

My cousin's wife had this posted on her FB wall this morning which defines to a "t" what my relationship with Cyndi has always been but the sad truth of the matter is, picking up a phone and talking to her is not really an option at this junction being that her disease has robbed us of even that. As selfish as it is of me to feel sorry for myself at all while Cyndi is the one fighting this horrific disease I can't help but feel cheated and angry and truly sorry that I no longer have easy access to a friend who - as cliché as the saying is - knows me better than I know myself.  You can't face the loss of a friend like that without feeling sorry for yourself unless you're a machine and I am definitely not a machine.

Hopefully I'll get the opportunity to speak to Angela, Cyndi's daughter, in the next day or two and then I'll know a little better what's going on.  In the meantime, I'm looking at flights to California and wishing there were more that didn't connect through Denver as changing planes there in the winter is not my idea of a good time but if that's what it takes to go see Cyndi, then that's what it takes.

In the meantime, thoughts and prayers for my dear friend are humbly requested and deeply appreciated.

"It Just Ain't Right"

I have always known that my friend Cyndi is one in a million. Today I found out that she's also 1 of 5 in 100,000 worldwide.

Cyndi has been diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Aclerosis, or ALS, which is a disease of the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that control voluntary muscle movement. ALS is also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. ALS is terminal and there is no cure.

As is her norm, Cyndi is handling her diagnosis with the strength and wisdom that I've seen her use time and time again during the course of her life.  She's counting her blessings, telling me what a wonderful life she's had, and making a list of who she's going to haunt once she shuffles off of this mortal coil.  And while she still has a voice to do so she's taking the time to tell me that she loves me and how much our friendship has meant to her over the years.

Right now there's no telling how long Cyndi has, according to her doctor death often occurs within 2-7 years of diagnosis and there's a good chance she's had the illness for close to two years - which would explain the problems that she developed with falling over a year ago.  That said, it's going to be a period of time during which her body starts to shut down on her while her mind stays unaffected.  She's already started to lose her voice and is using a walker to get around though it appears that a wheelchair is very imminent.

Personally I feel like someone has knocked my legs out from under me and I'm not quite sure how to wrap my head around this one yet.  After I hung up from our phone conversation that started out with "I'm dying" I had myself a good cry, cursed the many miles that are between us, and decided that a trip out to California is going to have to be a priority - soon.

I don't know how, I don't know when, but I do know it needs to be while I can still wheel my best friend into our favorite Mexican restaurant and order a #13 Combinación and reminisce over both good times and bad and so that I can tell her in person what our friend Sergeant Timmy White, who died in the line of duty at Stockton PD, always told us, "It just ain't right" and that she has always been the best friend a person could ask for - always.

Thanksgiving Thoughts 2008

Every great once in awhile my bestest friend MizCyn (whose birthday it is today!) will come out of hiding and leave a comment or two - like she did yesterday - or call me at strange hours of the night to ask me random questions out of nowhere - like she did late Monday night just as I was falling asleep! I never mind when she does these things even though the alarm was set for 4:30 in order to get Amanda to the airport because she's Cyndi and I love her and because sometimes I do the same things to her!

Her question of great import the other night was "What are you thankful for this year?" and even though I had asked the same question of you, my readers, last week I hadn't answered the question myself so I had to think for a minute before I told her, "I'm happy to still be treading water." One of the best things about having a bestest friend that you've known for years and who sometimes knows you better than you know yourself is that this required no explanation at all as Cyndi knew exactly what I was talking about and said that's why she loved me and we were best friends even though we were so opposite in some ways as she was thankful for the very same thing. I knew she would understand.

Sometimes I think that's the best I'm going to do anymore - keep my head above water and not go down for the third time. When I look at the current economic situation that our country is in and see how many people are not keeping their heads above water I can't help but think that it could very easily be me in the same position - having a home in foreclosure, not having a car parked out front because it got towed away, unable to provide food and shelter for myself and my daughter ... sure, I work a lot of overtime in order to keep the lights turned on, the bills more or less paid, and Amanda in hair products but unlike a lot of other people, I have the opportunity to work that overtime at my primary job as well as pick up hours at my second job. I do know how lucky I am even when I'm working a crazy schedule that barely gives me 8 hours in between shifts to try to recharge.

I'm treading water - have been for years - and even though there are times when I'd like to just give it up and sink, I am thankful that I have the ability to stay afloat not just when it comes to finances but also with my back issues and my mental and emotional state. Maybe sometimes that's the best we can ask for because things could be so much worse and, sadly, they are for a lot of other people. And maybe ... just maybe ... sometimes it's easier to be thankful for what we don't have as opposed to what we do.

"... I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens." - President Abraham Lincoln, Thanksgiving Proclamation, October 3rd, 1863

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and a very Happy Birthday to Cyndi whom I am very thankful to still have as a friend after all these years and the distance that separates us. I love you!

Westward Bound

I haven't been on an airplane since one of my dispatch partners, Jen, and I flew down to Orlando two years ago to attend the National Academies of Emergency Dispatch Navigator Conference in Orlando, Florida. Prior to that I hadn't been on a plane since September of 2002 and, frankly, that's been okay by me. It's not that flying scares me or anything like that - even though the take-offs do tend to make my palms sweat a tiny bit but once we're past that I'm generally okay - it's more that it's gotten more and more uncomfortable over the years and, frankly, I miss airline food. There - I've said it - I actually liked the food that they used to serve in-flight and now you're darned lucky if you get a miniature packet of peanuts and a can of soda! Still, there are some occasions that call for actually sucking it up and getting on a plane as it would take too long to get there via automobile and with the rising cost of gas, it's probably just as cheap to fly these days anyway!

That said, it appears that I shall be boarding a plane in just a little less than three short weeks and winging my way to a place I honestly never thought I would go to again ... California. More specifically that would be Stockton, California - the second most miserable city in the country (according to the statistics I quoted in this post) that also just happens to be the hometown of my BFF Miz Cyn. As a matter of fact, it is my BFF MC who provided me the plane ticket to return to a place I thought I would never return to in this lifetime and when your BFF requests the honor of your presence and provides you with the means to get there, how can you say no?

For those not familiar with Stockton or the Barkleys of the Big Valley (you did know that the TV series The Big Valley was set in Stockton, right?) - it's the 13th largest city in California located approximately 80 miles east of San Francisco and 40 miles south of Sacramento in the Central Valley, which is a major agricultural region. I called Stockton home from 1981 until 1987 and took my first job as a 911 dispatcher with the Police Department there in 1984. I still have ties to the region in the form of not only my BFF MC but also with my former grandmother-in-law from my first marriage, who isn't getting any younger and if I hope to see her again on this side of life then it's probably a good idea I get out there to visit her now. Quite the compelling reason for getting on a plane and traveling roughly 3,000 miles.

There are, of course, other compelling reasons which were discussed at great length prior to my agreeing to this trip. Other than really wanting to see Cyndi, whom I have not seen since mid-2003 even though we have kept in constant contact via telephone over the years, I figure it's high time we had another picture taken together as the only one I have is this one from 1986 when we both worked at SPD.

No, no - this isn't an outtake from Charlie's Angels even though we have the hair for it - this was taken on the day our "dispatch team" worked it's last shift together before they scattered us to various schedules in the dispatch center thereby ruining a really good thing. For those who haven't seen this picture yet, Cyndi is the one in the sweater (she was pregnant with her third child, Daniel, at the time and didn't have to wear a uniform) and I'm the one in the middle with the really wavy almost-blonde hair. The others are Chris with her arm around me, Kathy to the right, and our shift supervisor, Dianne, who was kneeling in front of a cake. As much as I like this picture, it's over 20 years old and my hair will never look like that again so it's time for a new picture. Unless we want to do some fancy PhotoShop cutting and pasting, that is going to require Cyndi and I both being in the same place at the same time.

Which brings us to another compelling reason for me to go ... as much as Cyndi would love to hop on a plane and come back East for a visit so that we could take a picture here, her husband insists that it's my turn to go West as Cyndi made the last two trips. Jeff has a valid point but we're not looking at it exactly the same way that he is. By our sneaky calculations, we figure that if I fly out there now then the next visit is Cyndi's and she'll be able to justify a trip East to explore New York City and Gettysburg. Devious, aren't we?

The third compelling reason has to do with the fact that I've not been able to get decent Mexican food since my last visit to California. This may not seem like much of a compelling reason to a lot of you but - trust me - when you've experienced authentic Mexican food then the likes of Taco Bell just is not going to do it! I blame part of this reason squarely on my dispatch partner Jen, whom I mentioned above, as she loves to watch the Food Network and I have had to suffer through innumerable hours of watching Guy Fieri chow down on some fantastic looking Mexican food on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. A girl can only take so much and then something's gotta give! I'll admit it - I'm weak! - but ever since Cyndi and I started discussing a potential trip I've been able to practically taste the quesadilla and beef enchilada in the #12 combinación plato at the Cancun Mexican Restaurant that I've been jonesing for since I was last out that way! Some memories just die harder than others!

Then there is one more compelling reason for me to board a plane, sit in a cramped seat with a tiny bag of peanuts, and lose three hours due to the time zone changes in the process - if I am ever going to get Cyndi to start writing a blog, I need to try to convince her in person. I'm not sure I have the ability to do that on my own (Cyndi can be danged stubborn) so I'm planning on recruiting the likes of several other top-notch bloggers like Sandee of Comedy Plus who lives mere miles from Stockton, Katherine of Wading Through My Stream of Consciousness who could hop over the mountains from Santa Cruz to join in, and the ever Amazing Gracie of Echoes of Grace who lives the furthest but I think I can encourage to be there for this "round table discussion" . I figure that between the four of us, maybe we can make a dent in Cyndi's hard Irish skull and get her to use some of those writing talents she has languishing away. Resistance will be futile! At least that's my hope! Plus I get to meet some more totally cool bloggers in the process and that alone makes it worth the really, really long trip! Anyone else going to be close by that wants to join us?

Of course, even though there were many compelling reasons to say "yes" to this trip, there were several compelling hesitations also. What would I do with Amanda while I was gone for almost a week? Would I be able to get the time off from work? How would my back handle an 8-hour plane ride? Where would I stay when I got out there? As it turns out, during the time that I am going to be in California (May 1st to the 6th), Amanda will be staying with her friend Darcy outside of Philadelphia as that's the weekend of the big Bamboozle concert that she's been looking forward to for months. As a matter of fact, I will be driving down there and flying out of Philadelphia while leaving my car with Darcy's family so Amanda won't miss me in the least. As for getting the time off of work, my co-workers were more than willing to cover my shifts for me so that I could take some much needed time off (some of them are placing bets as to whether I'll actually be back or not but I can assure them this is a short trip only and I'm not going out for any job interviews!). My back has been doing better lately and with a change of planes in Denver, I think I can handle the flight as long as I get up and stretch occasionally while cruising high above the clouds (after being sure to tell the flight attendants why I'm getting up so much!) plus I've read some great tips from other back-pain sufferers that I'm going to try. I might be a bit stiff when I get off the plane in Sacramento but I think I'll be okay.

My biggest hesitation in finally saying "yes" to this trip was one of logistics as to where I would stay while I was out there. As much as I love Cyndi, her house is out of the question as she has way too many cats for my allergies to even allow me to walk into it for any length of time, never mind actually stay there. My former grandmother-in-law lives in a very small house so that was out of the question, too. That left me with finding decent accommodations that I could afford that also wouldn't put me in one of the more undesirable parts of the city. For that I turned to my old friend William Shatner and Price-Line where I negotiated a fantastic deal at the Courtyard Marriott for a fraction of the normal cost. I named my own price and they accepted it at a savings of almost 70%! To say that you couldn't beat that deal with a stick might be a bit of an understatement so how could I possibly say no? Well, I couldn't ... especially considering they required I enter a credit card number before they negotiated the price!

I was a little hesitant on the whole "name your own price" thing as I had no idea which hotel in the area I might end up with and I knew for sure that there were several in Stockton that I had no desire to stay at whatsoever but I thought it might be worth the chance if it could save me some money. I was especially afraid of finding out that my "winning bid" put me at the La Quinta Inn which, even though it's a decent enough hotel, is the one I stayed at the last time I was in Stockton and it had the worst mattress ever! Add on the fact that there are "ghosts" there and it was not high on my list of places I wanted to stay. I was quite delighted when I found out that my offer was accepted at the Courtyard Marriott as I have stayed there in the past also and found it to have absolutely wonderful accommodations plus there is the added benefit of free WiFi! Surely you didn't think I'd go to California for a week and not take my laptop so that I could blog did you?? Heck no! Have blog - will travel!

All in all, even though I'm a bit nervous about it, I'm quite looking forward to this trip. I haven' t had a vacation in years (taking the girls out to Kentucky in 2004 to live in their new home doesn't count in my book) and I really do need a break from work before I burn out completely. Granted, I've got the Beach House in September to look forward to but considering my stress levels lately, I think I need a little something-something a little sooner.

Good food plus good friends has got to equal good times even if it's in the second most miserable city in the country - right?? I mean, it's not like I'm going to Detroit which is the most miserable city in the country!

A Post From the Past

I'm feeling somewhat worn out tonight so rather than write something new I decided to resurrect a post from the past and put it out here for those of you who haven't been religiously reading my blog ever since I began writing it. I suspect this will be new to everyone!

On September 21st, 2006 I had a bit of a problem in getting a post of my own done for reasons that you can read about below so I recruited my good friend from California, Miz Cyn, to guest post for me. I thought she did a more than admirable job and would love to get her to either guest post more often or write her own #$&*'ing blog as she really does have a flare for words.

Perhaps I need to head out to California and have a little chat with her - eyeball to eyeball - over a #12 combination plate at my favorite Mexican food restaurant while I try to convince her of the benefits of blogging and such.

In the meantime, please read a post Cyndi titled -

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." ~ Albert Einstein

I'm annoyed by people who mangle the quotations of others in an effort to communicate their own ideas.

With the mea culpa tidily handled, I say: It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our sanity--or at least MY sanity.

O.K., you got me. Linda would never resort to such a cheesy lead-in. I confess, I am a guest; guest blogger, that is. I'm Cyndi, Linda's friend, alter-ego, former dispatch partner and part-time conscience, in no particular order. Linda is taking a well-deserved day off. She has kindly allowed me to achieve my 15 seconds of fame via today's post, and for good reason. It is, after all, my sanity that is challenged, but for a change it was not one of my own three kids who sent me plunging down the abyss.

Nope; this time it was Linda's dear Amanda who gave me the hearty shove.

Mind you, most of the time I adore Amanda. She's a great kid. We share certain traits; sensitivity, a love of various arts, a flair for multitasking, and California birth certificates (I had to throw that last bit in just for Amanda. Yo Cali-girl!).

Yep, Amanda's a great kid who somehow felt it perfectly reasonable to tap into my conversation with her mother this afternoon to let us both know that she absolutely had to have the telephone line cleared right away because she had to make a call of her own.

So far, no big deal, right? Sure, Linda and I live some 3,000 miles apart and converse only a couple of times a month, but we were barely in the midst of invoking world peace or ending the threat of global warming when said interruption occurred. Granted, my 14th birthday passed sometime around the time Cleopatra was batting her lashes at Marc Anthony; still, I can vaguely summon that feeling of urgency that drives adolescent talk fests. Finally, it hasn't been all that long ago that my own daughter passed through the age in which a five minute delay in making a phone call feels more like five years of agony.

Given all of this, I thought Linda's response was quite generous, mom-wise: She offered Amanda use of her cell phone to place her call. And Amanda said ... no. Nope. No thanks; only the landline phone would do, because she needed to place a three-way call, and apparently this was not possible on Linda's cell phone.

What I said at this point is ... well ... probably best not repeated here.

Mind you, Ms. Amanda already had possession of the family computer at this point, yet she wanted the PHONE too? For a conference call?

I hereby nominate Linda for Mother of the Year for ever so calmly suggesting that we hang up so she could call me back on her cell phone. Problem solved; so why does the whole thing still stick in my craw hours later?

Answering machines, Call Waiting, conference calls, email, IM's, blogs, Cell phone, texting, Blackberry/PDA, Pager (yup, some of us still carry those along with the rest of the stuff). My purse runneth over, but I don't feel any more in touch than I did before most of this stuff was available.

So I ask you, gentle readers: Am I the only one who thinks that the whole communication thing is getting out of hand? What would Einstein do?

Personally, I'm in favor of leaving the electronic gear in the hands of the teens(or the cats) and heading for a secluded beach; margarita in one hand and a good book in the other.

See y'all there!

Note from Linda: Thank you, Cyndi! I appreciate you filling in for me as I never would have gotten to the computer before 10:00 p.m. last night as Amanda had it tied up so she could work on her Naruto AMV while IM'ing her friends and still making that three-way call of hers. At least she has inherited my outstanding multi-tasking abilities! Oh, and thanks for the nomination for Mother of the Year though we both know I'd have a snowball's chance in a very warm place of actually winning it - were there such a thing!

Good Thoughts Requested!

Manic Monday is below this post but if you've got a moment or two before you read that ...

Quick post before I jaunt off to work here in a few minutes (jaunt? seriously?) ...

My BFF Cyndi, otherwise known as MizCyn here in the Blogosphere, is undergoing spinal surgery today in just a bit over an hour. She's got some disk problems very similar to what I had a couple years ago and is going through almost the same surgery (depending on what the neurosurgeon finds once he gets in there).

The last surgery she had years ago encountered some complications so my poor friend is a bundle of nerves, though hopefully by now they've given her something to help her relax and release the death grip I'm sure she has on her poor husband's hand! However, if you those of you reading could be so kind as to send some good thoughts or even prayers winging towards the West Coast and Stockton, California in particular I sure would appreciate it!

Thanks in advance, I already know you guys are the greatest and one of these days my BFF will figure it out herself and do more than keep a relatively empty blog!

Need Some Help With Some Birthday Wishes For a Friend

Today is the birthday of one of the most special people in my life - MizCyn. I have had the privilege of calling her a friend since the day I first met her at the Stockton Police Department in 1984 and in spite of time and distance, we remain good friends and confidantes. Not sure what I'd do without her to be honest - or without unlimited long distance for that matter!

I was going to hack into her blog as I did a few months back with this post when she was going through the stress and emotional trauma of putting her 19-year old autistic son Daniel into permanent placement (an ordeal that, though completed, is still not over as there has been one issue after another and it hasn't exactly been clear sailing). So many of you left so many wonderful comments of support and encouragement for her and I thought I could prevail upon you to pop by and leave some birthday wishes but either I've forgotten her password (which is quite probable) or she changed it so I couldn't pull another such stunt (which is more likely!).

That said, I'm not going to let a small thing like not being able to hack into my good friend's blog stop me from asking you to click on this link here and leave her a small birthday message if you're so inclined. I've been doing my best to draw MizCyn into the Blogosphere and I think that the more she sees how wonderful and caring the people who make up this virtual world of ours are, the more inclined she might be to actually put up more than two posts on her blog - 90 mph Uphill-in-Reverse.

In addition to being a wonderful friend and exemplary mother, Cyndi is also a damn fine writer - though being Irish she tends to run off at the keyboard and can't tell a short story to save her life - something she considers to be a curse and something I consider to be a gift as I'm sure most folks don't mind long stories at all when they are told in an engaging and humorous manner. Least ways, I sure don't and the woman has stories to tell me - trust me on that one! Some stories I'd rather she didn't tell of course but still ... I would be willing to take the chance should she ever decide to make blogging a regular part of her life. Besides, if the woman has a picture of the female department at the former California State Hospital in Stockton as her profile image - how can she not have a sense of humor?? (I find it somewhat ironic that she lives close to a former mental hospital in Stockton while I live close to the former mental hospital in Norwich ... that should tell you something, shouldn't it?!?)


If you've got a minute, do me a favor and click on by Cyndi's blog, leave her a birthday message, and tell her she could have at least put out some cake for her guests or put the coffee on - maybe we can guilt her into becoming a blogger!

Helping a Friend Ease the Pain

*******************

This is a picture of my good friend MizCyn that dates back to 1986. Even though we are the best of friends, I don't have any recent pictures of her because we just aren't the picture-exchanging type. The last time I saw Cyndi was in 2003 but even though I've not seen a picture of her since then, were she to ever step off a plane (or walk out the gate as people are obviously no longer allowed to greet friends and loved ones at the actual gate!), I'd know exactly who she was without a moment's hesitation. She'd have that same smile and that same twinkle in her eye and I'm sure she'd greet me with one of the snarky comments that I have always loved her for. Some things just don't change when it comes to friends and friendship.

Unfortunately, though, some things do change as we grow older and in Cyndi's case it was her health that has changed since this picture was taken some 20+ years ago. In the early 1990's, Cyndi started suffering from some pretty debilitating pain in her shoulders and wrists that was diagnosed as carpal tunnel syndrome - something that is unfortunately quite common for those of us who dispatch for a living. We do a lot of repetitive tasks and unless you're lucky enough to work in a dispatch center that is put together very well with ergonomics, chances are real good that carpal tunnel is going to catch up to you at some point. It did for me and also for Cyndi.

Mine was a fairly easy fix - surgery to both wrists and I was back to work with no problems in less than two months. For Cyndi - no such luck. Despite the fact that the surgery seemed to go well, she was still in a lot of pain and after what seemed like forever, she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia - a chronic syndrome characterized by diffuse or specific muscle, joint, or bone pain, as well as a wide range of other symptoms. The severity of her pain eventually led to Cyndi having to medically retire from her job as one of the best 911 police dispatchers I ever knew and I firmly believe that the City of Stockton Police Department has suffered from her loss ever since. I never knew a woman who was more compassionate on the phone then Cyndi. She ran rings around me when it came to empathy and understanding for our callers and I'm sure she still would if she ever was able to sit behind a dispatch console again. She was that good.

Throughout the years, Cyndi's pain has ebbed and flowed much like the tides of the ocean and relief has been pretty hard to come by most times. Her pain takes on different aspects from sore muscles and joints to back, shoulder, and neck pain as well as painful arthritis-type symptoms which sometimes leave her in bed for the entire day as it's just too painful to even think about getting up - particularly when the weather is bad. However, Cyndi didn't have the luxury of lounging in bed most days as her son Daniel, a low-functioning autistic, required her care and attention and she wasn't the kind of Mom to ignore her child no matter how bad she felt. She soldiered on in spite of the pain and debilitation and for that I admire her greatly. Even though Daniel is now living in a Group Home, Cyndi still has an active life that can't just be put on hold while she waits for "a good day" and it saddens me that so much of her life is spent in constant pain that limits her abilities.

Recently, I've been reading about a new product that I think might give Cyndi some relief to be able to do the things she wants and needs to do without the constant pain of fibromyalgia standing in her way. Freeze It Gel is a topical pain reliever that can be rubbed on the skin all around the affected area and provides quick relief from sore muscles and joints. It can safely be applied up to four times a day and even before bedtime if one has trouble sleeping due to persistent pain and discomfort. No doubt receiving a good night of undisturbed sleep would help Cyndi vastly when it came to facing the day ahead of her as a good night's sleep should never be underrated - especially for those who suffer from chronic pain like she does.

I need to give her a call later today (she left a comment in my last post telling me so!) and when I do, I'm going to tell her to check out this video about Freeze It Gel and see what she thinks.


Right now Freeze It Gel is having a contest to win a year's supply and it sounds to me like it could help and Cyndi more than deserves to feel good. She has earned it by being the exemplary 911 dispatcher that she was and the loving mother that she is. Besides, if she started to feel better then maybe she'd actually get on the plane and come visit me like she keeps threatening to do and that would most certainly be worth all the Freeze It Gel in the world!

Cyndi - This One's for You & Marbles, Too!

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I promised my good friend and all-around cat fanatic, Miz Cyn, that I would write a post "coming clean" about the fact that I no longer have a cat living here at my humble abode. After much debate and trying to decide what to do, Marbles was taken to the Waterford Branch of the Connecticut Humane Society when it became evident that both my and Amanda's allergies were getting worse and Marbles' behavior was becoming such that she wasn't exactly making herself well-liked around the house either. I'm afraid she did some serious damage to the love-seat and I don't even want to look at the back of the couch (this despite the fact that I had provided not one, not two, but three scratching posts!).

After doing a lot of research, I ended up taking Marbles down to the CT Humane Society in Waterford because they have a Companion Animal Sanctuary that was built in October of 2006 and is a regular house that is dedicated simply to cats and dogs who are awaiting adoption for longer than three months.

Pets who have been in the regular kennel system longer than 90 days are moved into the sanctuary to await adoption as the Humane Society believes that "the longer pets are kept in kennels the greater the risk is that they may become depressed, which can lead to health problems." They feel that pets will be more comfortable as well as happier and healthier while they await adoption in the sanctuary and that just really appealed to me as, to be honest, I wasn't entirely sure how "adoptable" Marbles was going to be. To say that she was NOT a people-cat is an understatement.

This picture shows the view from the front windows of the Sanctuary House and the day that I dropped Marbles off, there were several cats sunning themselves in this very window.

This is the "cat room" which looks quite comfy and cozy. There is also a furnished living room and a cat playscape in addition to the other rooms in the house. I think this is a terrific idea and I'm sure the pets love it while they wait for their "forever home".

When I dropped Marbles off I definitely had mixed feelings about the whole thing as I am not a heartless cad despite the fact that I have never been a "cat person". I have no doubt that Marbles has been taken into a good home as I've kept an eye on the adoption pages and she is no longer listed but in the meantime, I knew that she was well taken care of at the Humane Society.

I think the Sanctuary House is a great idea and I'd like to see more animal shelters take up this idea if at all possible. I'm sure Miz Cyn would agree with me, too.