Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Warning for All Women and The Men Who Love Them!

With any luck I will be able to write an honest-to-goodness post tomorrow night as my back is starting to finally come around but in the meantime I thought I would post another email that I got from my friend Julie in Texas. These are very strong words of warning to all women out there but it's probably good for the men to read also as when they wonder what happened to that sexy young woman they used to know, this explains it!

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You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft is happening with other body parts as well!

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My ass was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new ass was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arms swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something "lifted", look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S., Last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.


  1. Thank you most kindly for reporting this incident. It closely mirrors my own experience. I think we should form a posse of like minded persons, hunt him or her down and reclaim our personal property.

  2. OMG...this renegade gang of body part thieves must be going nationwide because they've struck at my home too! Do you think America's Most Wanted TV show might be interested in doing our stories?!?!?! Oh wait...I'm not in any shape to appear on TV...won't TV add yet another 10 pounds to my already violated body? :~D

  3. I've been victimized by this "thief in the night" too. Sure do wish I could get things returned so I could go back to what once was normal for me instead of this blob left behind.

  4. Never mind nationwide they are bloody international . . .has anyone phones interpol?

  5. So that's what happened! I've been perplexed!

  6. I was wondering what happened to my thighs and my hips and my belly ... oh my!!!!

  7. Bwahahahahahah, this is funny and sad at the same time. I remember every darn one of these things happening to me too. Excellent post and now I have to go dry my eyes :)

  8. Very funny and I hope they don't find me too! LOL They'll probably go for my hair first...

  9. yup, sounds about right....

    smiles, bee

  10. I'll check up on everything I have..

  11. Yoo Hoo Linda,
    I am passing on some Linky Love to you. See you around blogville. Go to my sight and pick it up. It is a Thursday post. Thanks Callie

  12. Anonymous1:13 AM EDT

    Thanks for the warning, I will make sure we sleep with the doors bolted and windows alarmed. At least make it hard for them to run off with my beer belly.

    Oh, I just re-read it, they bring you a bigger one? They will never get one that size through the window, so I might as well go and unlock everything again. As you were.

  13. LMAO!!! It's happened to ME, too!!!


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