********************If you were to pop in over at Dayngrous Discourse, you would notice that Dayngr Girl does a Thought for the Day post with a beautiful picture each day. A week or two ago she posted a thought that really made me think as I believe it was designed to do. I was so taken with this particular quote that I asked Danygr if I could borrow it and use it as a post of my own and she graciously agreed.
I love quotes. Early readers of this blog can attest to that as I used to title every single post with a quote. I gave that up after I seemed to spend more time looking for the perfect quote than I did writing the actual post! Part of the problem was that I didn't like to use anonymous quotes; I preferred to attribute it to the person who actually wrote it or uttered it so sometimes it took awhile to find the perfect quote that wasn't attributed to "anonymous". I tell you this now as, before I give you the quote that made me stop and take pause to think for awhile, I wanted to tell you a little about the person who wrote this particular thought.
"Stephen Levine is a poet and teacher of guided meditation healing techniques. His work is said to stretch from the most painful experiences of the human spectrum to the furthest point on the human horizon, from hell to heaven, from pain to ease, from our ongoing sense of loss to the legacy of our unending interconnectedness. Levine's bestselling books Healing into Life and Death; A Gradual Awakening; and A Year to Live are considered classics in the field of conscious living and dying."I thought it was rather ironic when I was researching Mr. Levine that the word "interconnectedness" came up as my good friend Miz Cyn and I had just recently been discussing that very topic during one of our late-night phone conversations; she in the context of the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and myself in regards to several books that I had read at the recommendation of a friend several years ago involving a character named Dirk Gently, a con man who bills himself as a "holistic detective". The author, Douglas Adams, wrote two books in which Dirk appeared, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul. Dirk claims "to use the fundamental interconnectedness of all things" to solve crimes while running up exorbitant expense accounts. They were both good books but I digress and wander away from what I really wanted to write about today which is the following quote:
"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?" - Stephen LevineMr. Levine poses a very interesting question and one, I daresay, that Miz Cyn and I bounced around almost five years ago using the scenario of being on an airplane that you knew was going to crash. I was going to be flying out to California for a visit and because I'm always slightly nervous on a plane, that was how the conversation came up then.
However, even outside of that sort of scenario, it's an interesting question and one that is very tough for some people to answer. For Cyndi it's always been an easy question to answer as she would call her beloved husband, Jeff. For me, it's always been more complex because I don't have a significant other that immediately comes to mind as the person to call.
I don't think that I would want to pick one of my children above the other for that final phone call as I wouldn't want any of them thinking that I loved one more than the other nor do I think I would want to burden my mother with a dying phone call. Parents don't handle it well when their children die before them no matter how old that child may be and I would hope that I would have had the good sense to tell my mother ahead of time how much I loved her and appreciated her for all that she had done for me throughout my life prior to finding myself at death's doorstep.
I could call Cyndi but knowing her, she would argue with me about my actual dying and insist that it was not an option! Besides, she truly has enough to deal with in her own life with the heartbreak of her autistic son and the physical ailments that she personally suffers from. I would be loathe to weigh her down with more hurt. Besides, the woman knows that I love her dearly, that I hold our friendship in very high regard, and that it would not be a good-bye so much as a see you later. There isn't too much we haven't said to each other over the years.
There are, however, two people that I feel that I have unfinished business with; one I don't care if I ever talk to again and the other - well, the other one I worry about. If I had one last phone call, that would be the one that I would make and in regards to "what would you would say?" ... I think he knows what that would be. As to "what are you waiting for?" ... chalk that one up to fear. Fear of rejection, fear of too much water under the bridge, fear of that person just not caring anymore whether I were to live or die. Just plain fear.
So, that's my answer to this rather tough question. Anyone else want to take a stab at this one? It's not as cut and dried as you might think - or is it?