A Royal Dilemma

"To hug or not to hug? That is the question!
Whether tis nobler to approach thy Queen with arms flung wide
Or humbly approach on bended knee and by such groveling not offend thee? ..."

Oh dear. I am afraid that I am quite unprepared to meet with Queen Mimi tomorrow evening as I have no clue whatsoever of what is expected of me when first meeting someone of royal personage. Do I curtsy? Do I bow? Do I allemande left and allemande R, go right and left and form a star; shoot that star to the heavens whirl, go right and left to the second girl? Allemande left and allemande G – right and left and turn back three? Allemande left and the ladies star – the men run around the outside bar? Then allemande left and the men all star – girls run around but not too far? Oh my Lord I'm so confused! What do I do??

If I were my daughter, I'd no doubt run up and - forgetting all propriety, pomp and circumstance, and respect for personal space - wrap the Queen in a huge bear hug. I, however, am a lot more reserved than my pink-and-blue haired teenager who gives hugs away much like the orange-toga'd Hare Krishnas used to give away tracts in airports.

Speaking of airports, the 1980 movie Airplane!, which was a spoof on airline disaster movies, to this day remains one of my all-time favorite comedies and is one that I can watch over and over without ever getting tired of it. The first time I watched it was with my first husband at a small theater in Southern California. I remember that "It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit ..." But surely I digress. Yes, yes, I have digressed and need to stop calling myself Shirley. I need to get back on vector, Victor ... I was writing a post but now there's something I can't remember! My post! What is it? It's a story of sorts that can be made out of words or pictures or both and published on a blog for other people to read but that's not important right now!

Oh dear, I seem to have lost all control of this post, haven't I? Hold on while I snap myself out of this ... {{removes self from computer and takes a walk around the house}} ... Whew! Okay, that's better ... now, where was I? Oh yes, proper etiquette for meeting a Queen (even if she is merely a self-proclaimed Queen of Memes or one who became Queen when some watery tart threw a sword at her while walking past the pond on the Bloggingham grounds one day!). Ut-oh, there I go again ...

Anyway ... if anyone can help me out with the proper Meeting-of-the-Queen etiquette before 4:00 p.m. tomorrow evening I would really appreciate it! I really don't wish to embarrass myself before the first true member of royalty I've ever met though I'm sure that even if I don't embarrass myself by failing to make proper introductions, I'll no doubt manage to do so when I keep staring at her face and wondering where on earth the other half is!

Oh, and before I forget, the Queen has granted me permission to interview her during the course of our meeting tomorrow night so if there's anything you'd like me to ask her for you then please feel free to leave me that question in a comment. I promise to make sure that Queen Mimi is not merely talking out of the side of her mouth and gives me the straight answer, in spite of the fact she only has one side of her mouth to talk out of, and will publish those answers in another post either Friday or Saturday. So, anything you'd like me to ask Her Royal Majesty for you? Any complaints you'd like me to carry forth in the hopes that she sentences me to the dungeon and not you for having had the impertinence of asking? I just hope she remembers not to kill the messenger ... perhaps I picked a bad week to give up sniffing glue?

Anyway, while you think on what you'd like to ask the Queen, I'm going to go practice my do-si-dos and maybe have Amanda give me some hugging lessons! After I watch this movie trailer, that is!